Comments on: IML Has Serious Problems…

By: boypole

boypole — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 07:12:35 +0000

*applauds*

I have to say your blog is a keeper. It’s on my secret reading list, lol.

By: Iron Knees

Iron Knees — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:37:10 +0000

The multi-layered irony in the post and responses is delicious.

By: rawTOP

rawTOP — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 10:40:01 +0000

@Tommy T – Read what I actually wrote. Now think about the number of people I’ve seen go from neg to poz. All I said was, based on my experience, it would surprise me if he deviated from the average way people become poz.

By: Tommy T

Tommy T — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:51:03 +0000

I agree with everything you have stated except one thing: That the current IML was “a willing bareback bottom.” Unless you know that for a fact, why are you putting that out there? Do you know his full story? Do you know how he was infected? If not, why make the statement? You seem intelligent, so you know there are those that will read this statement and take it as a truth. Did you ask him? Or are you being stereotypical and perpetuating the myth that anyone into the leather scene or BDSM that is positive must have been infected as a “willing bareback bottom?” How is that comment helping anyone?

I agree that words can hurt a community, but sometimes we need to look at our own words as well. You make such an excellent arguement, but that one comment truly hurts the credibility of your entire post, because you are now guilty of the very thing you are speaking against.

Food for thought. . . .

By: Single_Guy699

Single_Guy699 — Sun, 31 May 2009 11:57:04 +0000

RAWTOP – thank you for this posting. @Metalnoir – You not only said a MOUTHFUL; but you took the words literally out of my MOUTH & Eloquently submit them in your comment! Thank you! To echo your comments further…

I recently came across this link http://www.whitless.com/leno.htm. Even though
it was from 2006 it is very relevant to this 2009 blog post.

The word “Emeritus = retired person of importance in a given profession”. I guess it’s time to remove this HAS BEEN JUDGE – because he is no longer a person of importance. Those of us who are on the same page remember how the African America Community came together as a whole and got rid of IMUS for his insensitive remarks. IML Judge Emeritus” you days are numbered!

RE: Hypocrisy of the BB and HIV – when you hit them where it hurts. it’s all about the numbers and the dollars. Boycott their sites & stop purchasing their
over priced DVD’s and watch the immediate changes to rules and policies.

Thanks for my time on the SOAP BOX!

By: rawTOP

rawTOP — Tue, 26 May 2009 21:15:02 +0000

@contrarian – yes, the audience is pretty pre-selected by all the non-inclusiveness that goes on before the event. But from where I was sitting I could see two guys who seemed to be Asian. I almost went up to them and asked them what they thought of the comment during one of the breaks.

There are a fair number of blacks among the volunteers. What I can’t imagine is spending your whole weekend working for IML and then hearing a racist comment like that during the main event. They may not have been the targeted minority, but it had to sting a bit.

By: contrarian

contrarian — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:37:02 +0000

How many non-white guys were in the crowd at IML? and specifically, how many Asians? I think you’ll find racism in those circles begins well before an idiotic MC.

Personally I find it obscene that something as personal as sex – and especially kinky sex, which should be all about exploring individual desires and inclinations – has become so regimented. Let me remind you at the core of IML is a BEAUTY CONTEST, complete with runners-up, side competitions etc – all without a hint of irony. As if we really needed more hierarchies. Oh you won Mr Bootlick Oklahoma 2007! awesome! How the fuck can something based on such premises be ‘inclusive’ I have no idea.

And the obsession of categorizing every sex act… I’m a Boy, he’s a Sir, we like puppy play and gut-punching but not mummification – yes let’s go ahead and trademark everything so people can buy off the shelf and no longer have to explore for themselves.

I think there are two things at work here: corporate mentality and the fact that a lot of people are insecure and/or just not very imaginative. The second is probably a human thing, but I get the feeling the first is more American. it’s probably not a chance that these contests are mainly a US thing.

By: Metalnoir

Metalnoir — Tue, 26 May 2009 20:02:15 +0000

The racist statements wouldn’t have been made if (1) they didn’t think they’d be positively received and (2) if they thought what they were saying was hurtful.

The fact of the matter is, we, as homosexuals, are members of a minority group. If we’re offended when some talking-head on TV refers to the gay community in a hateful/ignorant/phobic manner (even if it’s disguised as a jest), we should be equally offended when someone tries to get a cheap laugh at the expense of someone’s race.

Society on the whole finds the racist behaviour harmless and acceptable (consider the number of successful stand-up comedians and talk-radio personalities regularly bait their audience with racist comments), so the gay community, basically just “going with the flow”, tolerates, accepts, and, through their silence, condones this behavior.

If we, as a community, genuinely want progress on a civil-rights level (and that is just one example) we really should be more conscious of this sort of thing.

By: Alex

Alex — Tue, 26 May 2009 17:20:08 +0000

That’s fucking lame. I can’t imagine how they got away with overtly racist statements… that weren’t even funny! I have a pretty keen sense of humour, and in a way I think everything’s game so long as it’s good natured, you can take what you give, and it’s FUNNY.
But, honestly… Mr. Sushi Leather? Coffee’s ready? I’m not sure if I’m more offended that the comments were racist or that they were blatantly unfunny. Each is a travesty. lol
I’ve got a few gay Asian friends who have mentioned to me how the gay community tends to be somewhat racist, and I honestly didn’t pick up on it before they pointed it out to me.
Stupid.

By: BBCBS

BBCBS — Tue, 26 May 2009 02:01:25 +0000

The points you make are reasons I don’t go to IML. I’ve never been “trained” on leather/BDSM, yet I am a barebacker. Had they had some sort of “outreach” or “training”, I would have been much more likely to attend.

By: Sleepy

Sleepy — Mon, 25 May 2009 16:00:45 +0000

Simple solution: Don’t go to IML and stay home, instead.

By: rawTOP

rawTOP — Mon, 25 May 2009 13:28:47 +0000

@NJGuy – Role play is WAY different than racism. There are power differentials between white guys and black guys and it’s not racist to acknowledge them or even play with them…

Saying black guys taste different isn’t racist either – it’s acknowledging and celebrating our differences. (And BTW, it was a black guy who got my 2 day load yesterday, and he did not taste different.)

And for god’s sake, I think of all the guys I fuck as just holes (while I’m fucking them). I really don’t treat black guys any different.

To the contrary, where most white guys stick to having sex with white guys, I regularly have sex with men of color – in fact I prefer having sex with men of color – I’m even married to one. It’s not ’cause I think they’re inferior – it’s because I think they’re sexy.

By: NJGuy

NJGuy — Mon, 25 May 2009 13:15:24 +0000

It’s great that you’re confronting and annoyed by the racism and hypocrisy you witnessed at IML – the more people who do, the less we might have these things occur. I should point out that you have blogged about wanting to indulge in racist fantasies, and have made repeated comments of black men tasting a certain way, or someone tasting like a black guy – which is exactly what?

Racism and stereotypes happen on a variety of levels and people aren’t always conscious of them. While the blatant comment at IML might seem really awful, you might look at your own comments. On some level, they can perpetuate stereotypes and behaviors as well.

By: kitschpig

kitschpig — Mon, 25 May 2009 06:44:12 +0000

Great post. The hypocrisy is absurd. I’m glad I didn’t go.