I’d like to offer a different explanation… That guys who are into their bodies are stuck up and inhibited. How many ads have you seen saying “only hot guys should respond” as if there’s a single accepted definition of “hot guy”, yet you know exactly what the person is talking about. He’s essentially saying “I’m conceited and you need to be up to my standards or I won’t touch you.” Anything that’s messy and real is beyond them - they want plastic and pretty.

I’m not saying all good-looking guys are like that, but the ones who are in the “I’m hot, UB2″ crowd are pretty much like that. And being more “plastic” who knows if they’re telling the truth about their sex life. I can completely see them trying to keep up appearances and not being honest.

Then there are “regular Joe’s”, and the bears and the chubs, etc. who have gotten over themselves. They’ve found that you can have incredible sex with the most unlikely people. It’s no wonder that every time I come across a true slut - the type that sucks off or gets fucked by several guys a day and pushes the 1,000 loads/year mark - they’re almost always pretty average in looks. Yet they have way better sex lives than the “pretty boys”. Sure there are exceptions, like Dawson, but the general trend is true.

The other problem with the study is that it lumps racial minorities into the “undesirable” group. The research was done in Toronto and if you know anything about Toronto you know it’s crawling with Asians, yet Asians are generally pretty conservative sexually and always seem to have the lowest incidence of HIV of any racial group. So I don’t get how that didn’t confound the researcher’s conclusions…

I’m sure there’s some truth in what they’re saying, but there’s enough other things going on that the conclusion of the study seems pretty short-sighted…

If you remember it wasn’t that long ago that I thought the Brazilian was upset with me. Last night I had seen him online on BarebackRT, but was sorta tired. I knew he was available today, so we said we’d look for each other and fuck during the day. Then I wound up fucking the other guy last night and hoped that didn’t make it difficult to cum with the Brazilian today.

So I see him online and we arrange a time for me to go over to his place. I have to run a few errands before I go over and when I get there and buzz his bell a few times but he doesn’t answer. I try both of his phone numbers - no answer. A while back he had fallen asleep and a similar thing had happened. Needless to say I was pissed and wondering whether he was jerking me around, but there was nothing I could do and I just went home.

When I get home I see there’s a message from him saying something came up, he had to run downtown, and could we hookup at 1pm. If I had checked my e-mails before going out I would have seen it, so I stopped being angry at him, though a text message or call would have been nice.

So he gets over here a little after 1pm and we get naked (well, I kept my shirt on), and he gave me a blowjob. I think he was enjoying the blowjob, but it wasn’t all that great from my perspective. What I really wanted was to fuck. He had lubed his ass before he came over, so when he finally stopped, got up and bent over the bed it was easy to get in him.

I fucked him bent over the bed for a while, then pushed him onto the bed and fucked him on his belly - which is my favorite position with him. For a while I was wondering whether I could cum, but then I could feel it building and blew my load in his hole.

We rolled over made small talk for a couple minutes and then he had to be on his way and I needed to get back to work. I think he had another top scheduled for today, so who knows what he was off to…

All in all I think he’s getting fucked a lot these days. He’s finally discovered BarebackRT and he posts ads on Craigslist constantly. I commented on how many ads he’s placing and how he must be getting a lot of action. He just smiled and said something like “yeah, my butt is pretty happy”. What’s curious is that even though his profile still says he’s neg, his Craigslist ads never mention the word ‘neg’. We haven’t discussed it, but I wonder what point of the process he’s at these days…

I was debating whether to hookup last night when this bottom contacted me on BarebackRT. Early 40s, Latino, and just a few blocks from me. His profile said he was neg, which I thought was odd for a bareback bottom in his 40s. He says he’s up for coming over and I tell him to come over in an hour. Then he’s late and I ask if he’s going to come over. He says he was vacuuming his place and wanted to finish then he’d be over. Weird response, but he does finally arrive.

When he comes in I recognize him from pics I’ve seen before (which were more accurate than the pic in his profile). He had wanted me to be in leather when I fucked him, so I was in leather chaps, leather vest and boots… We get things started and he sucks my dick briefly and then asks me how I want him and proceeds to lay face down on the bed. It was obvious he wanted to just get fucked. I tried rimming him, but the position was weird, so I just lubed up my dick and climbed on him.

As I’m shoving in he says he’s tight and he was right. Then he asked me if I liked to talk dirty. I can get into it a bit, so I tried to get into it and asked him things like “you like to get bred boy”? And he said “no, but can you pull out and cum on my face?” I just flatly said I like to cum in a guy’s ass. Then he asked me if I had my hood handy and I told him it was too much trouble to get and asked him if he liked anonymous fucks where he can’t see the guy’s face. Again, he wasn’t playing along with my attempts to talk dirty and said “no”. (Then why did he ask me to wear my hood?)

Then he started changing positions and generally disrupting things. In the course of things my dick started going soft (I don’t like bottoms trying to control the scene), but I did learn one important thing. He really liked feeling my full weight on him.

At one point I told him I didn’t think it was going to work and he asked if he had ruined the mood. I just said “whatever” and tried to pass it off. He didn’t seem to want to leave, so we laid there a bit and I jacked my dick. I asked him to suck my dick and he did a half hearted suck for 30 seconds and stopped. Finally I got hard again and climbed on top of him and continued to fuck him. He asked if I just wanted him to be quiet and I said yes…

So I’m fucking him on his belly putting all my weight on him. When I don’t have all my weight on him (supporting my upper body on the bed) he tries to get me to change things up and put my weight on his arms. It’s really clear what he wants - he wants to feel trapped and sorta helpless as he’s getting fucked. He suggests I pull out and cum on his back. And every time my breathing changes a bit or I slow down he asks if I’ve cum in him. While he never says not to cum in him, I can tell he doesn’t want it, but I can tell he also likes tops to overpower him…

So I just use all my weight and pin him to the bed and fuck him. He couldn’t have moved if he wanted to, and it was sorta like he was just a hole in the mattress. When I feel like I’m about to cum I keep my breathing and strokes steady until he’s got most of my load then I slow down. He asks if I came and I say yes. I keep him pinned to the bed for a while and slowly fuck his cummy ass (which he really seems to like).

As I expected, shortly after I get off him he starts wrapping it up and wants to go use the bathroom. I knew he was in there shitting my cum out of his ass, but he still got plenty of cum up there since he got a 4 day load up his butt.

He didn’t seem mad or anything for me not pulling out. Hopefully he’ll come back for more… The moral of the story is that if you get fucked bareback, you will get cum in your ass… Some of us just don’t pull out.

There’s this guy who’s been corresponding with me for a while now about fucking him. For one reason or another we just never hooked up. In part I wasn’t sure he was really my type, but other times I just wasn’t in the mood to fuck, or there were scheduling problems.

Then last week I saw this ad on Craigslist saying a guy had recently turned poz and wanted to celebrate with a gangbang. I responded and the top who was organizing it sent back a pic of the guy I had been corresponding with. I didn’t go, but I did send the bottom an e-mail since I had just been chatting about hooking up with him like a week or so before. He got back saying it was him and that he had just found out he was poz and was trying to sort it all out.

Long story short, he wanted to take my load and I wanted it to give it to him, so we arranged for him to come over tonight after work. But then he sent a message this morning saying he was in sort of a funk about the whole poz thing and wasn’t feeling all that sexy. I suggested he rethink it ’cause back in the day (YEARS ago) when I used to get fucked I was most in a bottom mood when I was a bit down. He got my point and decided to come over after all and just lay there and be a hole for me.

He showed up and he was WAY hotter than his pic. When he took off his clothes he had this great body - not completely lean, but muscley in the right places and reasonably trim in others. And he had this really thick fur that knew where to stop, so to speak… He was definitely “good for his type”…

We talked a bit and he told me he’d been reading my blog for a couple years and it was one of the reasons why he felt more comfortable with raw sex and got more into barebacking. I didn’t say anything, but did the math on that and his present situation pretty quickly…

Anyway, he was OK with me videotaping it (though not sure about it being pubic - so you guys may not see it). So I got out the video camera and set it up. Since it was probably going to be private, I didn’t bother putting on a hood or anything.

He gave me a blowjob while I was setting things up and then continued once I was ready to go. I had my PA in, so giving me a blowjob wasn’t an easy task. Then I had him get on the bed on all fours so I could rim him. He was a little “musky” so I didn’t exactly give it my all, but he had this nice hairy ass, and he had a piercing on the back of his balls - almost a guiche, but a further forward.

His hole seemed pretty loose, so I stood up and just shoved my dry dick up his butt. He had told me he sorta wanted the fuck to hurt, so I wasn’t too worried. There was some spit from my rimming, but still, taking a dry dick with a big PA isn’t all that easy. At least you’d think it wouldn’t be that easy, but he took it no problem.

He felt good to fuck. Nice hole. I was horny and somewhat unfortunately I came pretty quickly. But I guess that’s better than not giving him my load. I stayed pretty hard, so I kept fucking him slowly - almost pulling my dick out so it was just being held in by the PA, then pushing it back in.

Finally I pulled out, turned down the lights and we had a little quiet time when I felt his furry chest as he jacked his dick. After he came (in my mouth), we wrapped things up, got dressed and he left…

Hopefully I’ll get to fuck him again sometime soon… This time I really want to pound him and make him squirm ’cause I’m hurting him… Not often you find a bottom who wants it to hurt and I didn’t make good use of it this time - so I’ll have to do it next time.

So I figured I’d fuck the Brazilian from the neighborhood since he has a party listing up on BarebackRT (which even states his address, though it says not to show up without being invited). But he didn’t respond to the message I sent a few days ago saying ‘hi’, and he didn’t respond to my party request. So I was wondering whether he was mad at me. I sent a message asking him pretty bluntly if he was mad at me or something. He didn’t respond to that either. It wasn’t long ago that he was asking me to come by and give him a load so I really don’t know what the deal is with him.

Next the piss bottom I fucked with my PA was online. I told him I wanted to fuck him and he volunteered that two guys had cum in him this morning, but he said he was scared of me. At the same time he was friendly, so not sure how to interpret that.

Then a early-20s guy hits me up on Adam4Adam and says he saw my XTube videos, he thinks I’m hot, etc. Turns out he’s a couple blocks from me, but doesn’t want to hookup ’cause he’s “paranoid about diseases” (I think barebacking freaks him out). So that’s not happening either…

UGH!

UPDATE: The Brazilian got back to me today, said he wasn’t mad or anything and wants to take my load (no specific time). Said he had enough tops lined up yesterday and didn’t need more. But he coulda said that yesterday, so I still think there was something weird going on yesterday…

You see, the symptoms got better, but didn’t really go away. When I did the post that I got tested and was still neg, the reason why I went in was because I still had symptoms and wanted to find out what was going on. That time I had a full battery of STD tests and they all came back negative. So if the symptoms persisted then I probably didn’t have anything the first time.

Which makes me wonder what was going on…

So two or three weeks ago there were a couple days when I had a little pain in my balls (probably epyditimus), but it went away and I didn’t think anything of it. Then this past Monday I suddenly had pretty bad discharge again as well as pain while pissing.

I’ve been working a lot lately and since I work at home I sometimes work on the floor on my stomach. I have a desk with an Aeron chair, but there are times when I just like to lay on the floor. On top of that you have to realize that I didn’t jack off in the traditional sense until I was in college. To cum I always humped the bed in sorta this one man frottage sorta thing. In fact, I really used to like frottage when I came out. Did a lot of it and since it was the height of the AIDS epidemic it probably helped keep me neg (especially since my bf turned out to be poz). My favorite used to be to have the bottom cum and then rub my dick in his cum. Felt really great.

Anyway, getting back on track here… I’ve sorta noticed that when I do a lot of “jacking off” while laying on my belly, I tend to get STD-like problems. Part of it is probably ’cause I don’t clean up - I just wear the cum stained underwear and pants around the rest of the day. I can smell the cum a bit and think it’s sorta hot. But my guess is the cum probably goes bad and a ton of bacteria probably invade since it’s a great source of food for them. So it’s probably not all that hygenic, but is good sex ever hygenic? Not that I’d call jacking off good sex, but going out in public smelling like cum is definitely a little edgy…

So when I got discharge on Monday my first thought was that it was related to jacking off - even if it was that the hole for my PA got irritated. I gave it a day or so to clear up but when it didn’t, I made an appointment and went to Callen-Lorde. I got this great NP who seemed like he was in Radical Faeries or something (he had orange nail polish on). Great guy and seemed really competent.

His first reaction was that even though I had discharge I probably didn’t have an STD. The fact that I was coming in monthly with similar symptoms made him think something was up. I also found out the tests from the second time were negative for STDs, but I had an elevated white blood cell count which indicated there was still some type of infection.

The bottom line is that he put me on Levaquin for 7 days and did another round of tests. So unfortunately I’ve had to say no to some hookups I really wanted to do since I can’t say for sure that I don’t have an STD.

The discharge had stopped, but I’ll wait until end of next week to fuck again. In the meantime, I’m jacking off on the floor and smelling like cum!

UPDATE: The video is now embedded (see below)

Finally got my load up a bottom’s ass yesterday - the first time in 29 days! And it was a really great session too…

One of the readers of the blog contacted me a while back and wanted to hookup. But scheduling didn’t work out until yesterday. He was really determined to have me fuck him - actually volunteered to come up here on a weekend when the trains were running local and the last bit via shuttle buses. That makes for a pretty long and arduous trip. Having been stood up enough times I wasn’t quite sure he was going to actually make it, then I got a text saying he was on the 1 train at 125 (he opted for the long walk from the 1 train rather than deal with the A and shuttle buses).

He had said he wanted to film it and he was interested in leather and bondage. So I got things ready, but hadn’t quite gotten into my leather by the time rang the bell. I picked up the phone for the intercom and said “Hello” and my jaw sorta dropped when he said “Village Cumhole here” (his profile name). All I could think was I hoped there weren’t any of my neighbors within earshot. I asked him later if anyone heard him and he said there was a gay guy who was just opening the door who might have heard him. Oh well - probably put a smile on my neighbor’s face…

So he arrives at the apartment and he’s really cute - looks at least 5 years younger than the age in his profile. We didn’t get started right away ’cause I still had to get into my chaps, and he wanted me to take pics in addition to video, so I had to run and find the camera. But eventually we got started.

I’m always a little disappointed when I hood cute guys. While it’s hot to fuck a hooded guy, when they’re cute I sorta want to see their face. But we put the hood on so no one would recognize him in the video. And being hooded was a first time experience for him. And it is pretty intense to be hooded… After taking a few pics we got started…

He had told me he was going to get fucked earlier, but I didn’t know if he’d gotten any other loads as well. So I asked how many loads he had up there… He said the guy that morning had given him two loads, but he’d also gotten a load from a guy last night at the Eagle - so he had 3 load up there. I asked if the loads were poz or neg and he said he had no clue. He didn’t ask and really didn’t care.

I tried to get him to suck my dick, but it was difficult with the hood on, so I went to rimming his ass. His butt was perfectly smooth and his hole looked like it was well fucked and just the right balance of loose, but not too loose. Even though he had three loads up there I couldn’t really taste them.

After rimming him I shoved my dick up his butt with just a little bit of spit. He winced a bit when I was shoving in, but as soon as I was in there I could feel the loads and they provided plenty of lube. I LOVE a cummy ass and this was the second one in a row I was fucking. It felt really great.

I fucked him for a while with his legs up (missionary position), then rolled him over and fucked him on his belly. I was determined to be able to cum this time and hadn’t jacked off in two days, so I had no problem cumming in his ass…

After I came I was still sorta hard so I kept fucking him slowly. Then I rimmed him a bit. Then I played a bit with paddling him. He had told me he wasn’t into pain, so I didn’t take it very far - just baby steps. Then I stopped and we cuddled for a while. He wanted me on top of him, so we had some quiet time that way too.

After I turned off the camera and turned down the lights we had some more quiet time. Eventually I took off his hood. He’s so damn cute! (I’ve sorta got a crush on him.) We laid there and talked. When he started telling me about his hunting for loads, that got me hard and I started fucking him again. Then his leg was cramping, so we stopped and we just laid there with his head on my chest. It almost seemed like he was falling asleep on my chest. It was really nice, intimate moment.

Eventually we wrapped things up. Hopefully I’ll see him again soon!

If you’re interested in fucking the bottom - you can e-mail him at villagecumhole@gmx.com - he’s always looking for loads, and he’s definitely a grea bottom!

Anyway, I’ve fucked him on two occasions before. Once last May that went really well, and then at the end of August when my pills were working a bit too well. Thing was, I didn’t know he had done porn back then. Somehow I missed the videos he has been in, but then I saw one and asked him about it.

I’d been wanting to hookup with him again and we made plans for last Sunday. He was also game for getting it on videotape, so I brought my camera and tripod along. To me it was cool that I could finally videotape someone who didn’t mind their face showing. Not to mention that I think he’s a hot little pig… 

I get there and we set things up. It’s sorta weird, but to get light in from outside the blinds on the windows are open and people walking past on the street can see right in. But I put that out of my mind and just enjoyed myself… He had these plastic/rubber sheets he put on the bed, ’cause he likes his sex a bit messy. He had texted me right before I went over and told me to have lots of water ’cause he wanted to drink my piss. If you read this blog much you know I like piss bottoms…

The rest is pretty much shown in the video (it’s a pretty long video - 20 minutes and there’s another supplemental video coming, plus some other clips I may show later). It started off with him sucking my cock. At one point in there I’m fucking his mouth really slowly ’cause I’m actually pissing in his mouth.

Then we move to the bed and I rim him and fuck him. He had mentioned that he got fucked earlier in the day and took a load, but it turned out it was a massive load - my dick is just swimming in cum as I fuck him. It feels great. In fact he’s got so much in there it actually overflows while I’m fucking him and there’s a small puddle of it on the bed (which I lick up ).

Here’s some supplemental footage of sucking and rimming that didn’t make it into the video above…

All in all it was a good fuck. We fucked for a while and I fucked him pretty hard. [For those of you who keep asking for me to take my clothes off - you'll like the last bit of the video.] But the thing was I just couldn’t cum. There are a number of reasons but it boils down to me working too much. First, I’m jacking off these days just so I can concentrate and get work done. But jacking off frequently makes it more difficult to cum when I’m fucking. Plus there’s the stress and always feeling tired…

There’s more to this story, but I’m going to wait on telling that part… But I will say Marcelo and I ‘clicked’ (he’s a sweet guy) and I plan on hooking up with him in the near future.

And just as a shameless plug… If you want to hookup with Marcelo, you can hire him as an escort (see his ad on RentBoy.com). As you may know from the videos - he’s a great top as well as a good raunchy bottom…

The gay community used to be pretty political - in your face, and radical. We used to look bigots in the eyes and say “fuck you!” Now we look those bigot in the face and want to be like them. We’re running to the suburbs, setting up house like Ward and June Cleaver, and wanting those bigots to accept us.

Well, they’re bigots, why in the hell do we want their acceptance? Why should their acceptance matter? Why is it that our sense of self-worth is in their hands in the first place?

That’s why I think losing on Prop 8 is good for us. It’s a slap in the face to all the people in our community who are trying to be “straight-acting”.

Then there’s the 27% of the gay community that voted for McCain. They fit in there somewhere, but in a very complicated way… Needless to say, they horrify me. Only 15% of Manhattanites voted for McCain, how can nearly twice as many gay people vote for him? How is it that Manhattan is twice as liberal as the gay community?

Yes, I’m legally married, and I think we should have the right to marry and have our marriages fully recognized everywhere. I don’t want civil unions, I want marriage because “separate but equal” is always separate and never equal. [I'd love to get Obama in a room and have him, as an intelligent black man, look me in the eye and tell me that "separate but equal" is a good idea.]

While I want gay marriage, I don’t want our marriages to mimic straight marriages. There are those in our community who want marriage so they can be more like straight people, so they can be better in line with heterosexual norms. That’s just fucked up.

This summer I said I was really disappointed in Lambda Legal for telling gay people not to sue for their rights. I think the loss on Prop 8 sorta vindicates what I’m saying. I realize there’s legal strategy behind what they were saying and they didn’t want negative precidents, but for god’s sake 30 states have now made gay marriage illegal. We can’t even win equality in California where the Republican governor is fine with gay marriage. What does that tell us about the US right now? If you can’t win through being nice in a place like California, you’re fucked and it’s clearly the wrong strategy.

I think we should have a blitzkrieg of lawsuits and our rallying cry should be that we are not 2nd class citizens and we won’t just shut up and sit in the back of the bus. I think we need to hold friends accountable for how they vote, and even take it into our business lives and refuse to do business with bigots, when we’re able to do so financially.

I really like the fact that some people are talking about stripping the Mormon church of tax exempt status. We need to be in-your-face radicals. We need to make people see that it’s not acceptable to be bigots. For too long we’ve let the fundies take the battle to us. Let’s turn that around. Let’s show that you’re not “pro-life” if you start offensive wars that kill tens of thousands of people, and you’re not “pro-family” if you can’t respect loving, stable homes that happen to be gay, and you’re not “defending our children” if you don’t allow unmarried people to be foster and adoptive parents.

If you need a model for how a radical strategy works, just look back to ACT UP and the fight for AIDS treatment. ACT UP was throwing blood on people, but it raised the issue, made a point, and softened people up so they’d make deals with the moderates in our community. But now we have no radicals and the right wing extremists are painting our moderates as “too extreme” and “dangerous”. Well, let’s show them too extreme and dangerous so they can understand the difference.

When he got here I just sat back on the couch and let him service me orally. He wasn’t all that careful with his teeth so I told him to be careful. All in all he was trying a little too hard - going too fast. But whatever… It got me hard, so I put him on his belly on a towel on the floor and fucked him.

He felt fine, but I was wiped and it was catching up to me. I gave him a decent fuck, but just couldn’t cum. So we took a break and he sucked my dick some more. It felt better when I was squatting on the floor ’cause it changed the angle he was sucking me from, but being on the floor wasn’t comfortable.

We changed it up, I sat on the couch, then fucked him a little more, but it just wasn’t happening. So after a while I said I wasn’t going to be able to cum, and we wrapped things up and he left…

• It looks like we lost on Prop 8 in California (final numbers aren’t in yet). $73 million was spent on that fight. $37.6 million by gay friendly forces and $35.8 million by bigots. That’s a huge loss. Personally, I’m ambivalent about it. While I’m married I’ve never thought forcing someone to recognize your relationship changes anything. They either genuinely recognize it or they don’t. Give it a few years and it will fix itself.
• Gay marriage lost in Arizona (no surprise).
• We’re now banned from adopting children in Arkansas.
• Gay marriage lost in Florida.

So in a way it was a very bad night for gay rights last night (abortion rights didn’t have a very good night either). BUT the silver lining is the Supreme Court judges that Obama will appoint and the fact that anti-gay legislation will have a hard time getting passed on the federal level with the Democrats in charge. In the end we will win, but yesterday was very much a mixed message from a gay point of view.

The funny part is that California used to always be seen as the most gay-friendly part of the US. I think we can say that that’s now changed. New York and New England are doing much better for the gay community. As of yesterday there are now no Republican senators from NY/New England. Massachusetts has gay marriage. Connecticut will have it in a few days, and New York recognizes gay marriages from other states (to a limited extent). That means four of the New York’s immediate neighbors have gay marriage - Massachusetts, Connecticut, Ontario and Quebec.

That said, I was just a little bit surprised with the election results in Manhattan. Last election 86% voted for Kerry. This time 85% voted for Obama. I’m really surprised the percentage went down (even a point) - I was expecting it to go up. Still, 85% makes me proud to call NYC home.

So stand up and be counted!

If your in California you definitely must vote. The battle on Prop 8 is just too close - every vote may count on this one…

This morning I walked past my polling place only to see the line out the door and a considerable way down the block and the Associated Press was there filming the line. This was at 10:30 in the morning! So I went at 2pm and the line for my voting district was quite long and the AP was still there with cameras both outside and inside. Took me 35 minutes to get all the way through the line, but that could have been worse.

Hey Rawtop. I’ve been a long time fan of your blog.My Daddy has decided that he wants to watch me take as many loads as possible this Thursday @ Noon at my place in Antioch, Ca. (About 40 minutes from San Francisco). I’m looking for hung white and latin men to breed my hole.

The last time I had a gangbang was when I was 19 (Im 24 now) and my Daddy had 24 men over to fuck me (unfortunately with Condoms).

Attached is my pic… I’m 6′2″ 180 brown hair, blue eyes, 7″ cut thick bottom. Love to deep throat and service hung Daddy types.

Thanks Stud! Wish I lived in NY… I would take your loads everyday!

That’s sorta a weird time for a gangbang, but who knows - maybe they’ll have it going all night or something… [BTW, Antioch is East of San Francisco - go through Oakland and keep going.]

Here’s his pic…

The whole “ecosystem” of the vagina is another reason why they’re not appealing to me. But if you’re like me and find the whole thing sorta “icky”, but want to know more, check out this educational video featuring Amy Sedaris and props by Todd Oldham…

I also can’t deal with breasts, not real keen on long hair, and definitely don’t like femininity in my partner, so there are many reasons why I’m not straight, but vaginas are high on my list. A dick is just so much nicer…

On top of everything else my bf and I had another fight about me hooking up this morning. I hate those fights - really getting tired of them. He’s under incredible stress, so in the end I understand its not about me, but still I really, really hate them…

Anyway, this evening the skinny tattooed guy who lives not far from me wanted to hookup. I went over to his place. I really like this guy’s body - he’s short, super skinny - literally not an ounce of fat on him, has these great tattoos… The chemistry with him was a little awkward tonight - not sure why… I sorta forget if it was awkard last time or not.

Anyway, long story short, I had been hard pretty easily yesterday and today so didn’t think I needed a pill, but I guess I should have taken one. I was hard, but not not consistently hard. When I had him legs up I just didn’t feel much of anything, so I fucked him on his belly a bunch and nearly came twice, but just never came…

We fucked for a while on and off. And it was fun. At one point I wasn’t all that hard and he told me he was sorta sore ’cause he had gone to a halloween party last night and had gotten fucked by three guys. That got me totally hard. Then he told me he’s been fantasizing about getting gangbanged and he planned on buying a sling in a month or so and seeing if he could set up a gangbang. The idea of him getting gangbanged got me totally hard. There’s something about gangbang bottoms that just gets me going…

The other thing was he had “partied” last night and had crystal dick - his dick and balls were completely shriveled up, but I like that… On top of his skinny body it just made him seem like more of a bottom. I wondered if his PNPing didn’t contribute to the weird chemistry - who knows…

Anyway, after several rounds of rimming and fucking we just cuddled, and then I left… I satisfied my need to fuck, but tomorrow I need to take a pill and actually cum in someone’s ass… 

The FBI statistics reveal that hate crimes against our community are on the rise, whereas other types of hate crimes are going down.

But I’m a little suspicious- the homicide numbers seem low. They say only 5 LGBT people were killed last year. But the video from FightOutLoud.org I mentioned back in early March documented 7 deaths in just the first two months of this year: Shanesa Stewart, Adolphus Simmons, Alexio Bello, Patrick (”Patricia”) Murphy, an unidentified transgender woman in Detroit, Lawrence King, and Simmie (”Beyonce”) Williams Jr. How can only 5 have been killed in all of last year when we had 7 die in just two months this year?

I haven’t been tracking the stats very well since then, but just the other day two elderly gay men were bludgeoned to death in their home - Milton Lindgren, age 70, and Eric Hendricks, age 73. I’m sure there are others as well.

I’m guessing the FBI’s standards for calling something a hate crime are a bit too stringent. Looking at who’s been killed so far this year it’s overwhelmingly black, hispanic and/or transgendered people getting killed. It makes you wonder if those killings are getting handled properly and correctly labeled as hate crimes.

Also, given how the campaigns have gone, it’s pretty clear which presidential candidate will be more likely to A) have the FBI report the data correctly, and B) take meaningful steps to reduce the violence against our community.

The gist of the study is that repeated exposure to other strains of HIV maintains a strong anti-HIV immune response in the bodies of guys who are already poz. While super-infection is theoretically possible, it’s extremely rare. What’s more normal is for the poz bottom to actually benefit from the poz cum he’s getting in his ass…

We found that individuals, who regularly engaged in unprotected receptive sexual intercourse with an HIV-1 infected viremic partner, displayed higher T cell responses to HIV proteins compared to those who were not regularly exposed to a viremic partner. None of the individuals within this study showed evidence of systemic super-infection. Exposure had limited impact on general activation or poly-functionality. These results are clearly of importance for HIV-1 infected individuals who chose to engage in unprotected sexual activity with other HIV-1 infected individuals. These data also reveal a more general mechanism that occurs in infectious diseases: immune responses to chronic viruses are influenced not only by the virus within the host, but also by exposure to the virus from without.

So from an HIV perspective, poz guys apparently will stay healthier if they take loads up their ass from other poz guys, at least on average. Of course you also have to factor in the negative effect of the other STDs you’re likely to get - it’s not 100% beneficial.

Read the study

If you’re interested, you can contact him at nycmann@gmail.com

Personally, I don’t get it. I can see criminalizing lying about your HIV status, but I don’t get how it’s the poz guy’s responsibility to tell if the neg guy doesn’t ask especially in anonymous situations. What happened to the concept of personal responsibility? NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR HEALTH EXCEPT YOU!

He’s living with his father, so if he’s really lucky his dad is cool with him having guys over. Once his probation is up I’d suggest he come to some place like New York where disclosure isn’t mandatory.

I mean, a guy who’s that hot should have all the sex he wants…  I know I’d fuck him 

ADDITION:

One thing I want to add here… If he’s on meds and has an undetectable viral load. He’s safer to have sex with than a “neg” versatile guy who’s running around barebacking and not getting tested regularly.

The laws were written in an era where poz guys were pretty infectious pretty much all the time. That’s not the case any more and I’d love to see one of these laws challenged on the basis of the person in question had an undetectable viral load.

To say that all poz guys have to disclose all the time and not require neg guys who haven’t been tested in say the last three months to disclose that their status is actually “unknown” simply makes no sense. The current policy is a lot like a scarlet letter.