I had a long IM chat yesterday with Mason Wyler (a bit over an hour). As a result of the chat my opinion of him has changed for the better…

The last week or so he’s had a lot of shit thrown at him. Someone outed him as poz before he was really ready to make it public, and then, given his history, people started saying all sorts of things about him. Some people even started openly wondering whether this was a bit of a publicity stunt. The skepticism comes from the fact that previously he said he had been raped but then then didn’t follow through with the police investigation. People then wondered whether there was merit to the rape allegations – thinking it had all been a publicity stunt. So this time some people wondered whether this too was a publicity stunt.

Well, after talking with him, I tend to believe 1) he really was raped, and 2) he really is poz.

For me the thing that really made me not particularly like him (as a person) was his blog post back in October 2008. Even to this day I think it’s pretty hostile to poz guys and guys who bareback. He swears I misread it and he his intention was to make fun of the stupidity of people who do fear-based anti-bareback campaigns. I’ll let you decide what you think of it. At a minimum I think you’ll be able to see where it can be interpreted as hostile, even if that wasn’t his intention. The real issue was the he didn’t communicate his thoughts clearly enough in that blog post. He looks at it and sees his original intention, but others of us fail to see that intention. But he’s a porn star, not a copy editor – so I’ll excuse that now that I’ve heard his side of things.

After chatting with him for an hour the worst thing I can say about him is that prior to testing poz he didn’t have any poz friends – so he may not have really understand what it’s like to be poz. That’s hardly a crime. Apparently his day-to-day life is pretty solitary – it’s just him and his boyfriend. I have a similarly codependent relationship and if we weren’t in Manhattan and if my bf weren’t a “people person” I’m sure I’d be in a similar situation. Now he’s starting to chat with some poz guys, but they don’t live near him – but at least he gets to interact with them one way or the other. I really think that will help him.

I still think that the ‘milieu’ he was in was not all that great. For example, his production company refuses to work with poz guys – they won’t even pair poz guys up with each other and have them do condom porn. To his production company, if you’re poz you’re an undesirable leper. As a result when he became poz he assumed his porn career was over because that’s what he was told by his production company – the anti-poz crowd was the only reality he really knew. I think he’s just now realizing that’s not the case – that he’s totally welcome in bareback porn, and there are other condom porn companies that don’t have a problem with him either.

It won’t surprise me if the world of condom porn continues to shun poz guys – there’s a reason why we call them “Condom Nazis”. In fact I sorta dare any (major) condom company to break the conventions and use Mason as a regular performer (more than a few scenes). It’s a statement that really needs to be made – that you can be poz and sexy and there’s a (sex) life after testing poz.

Strangely, the poz-hostile condom producers (who are supposed to be pro-condom) are basically saying condoms are only for neg guys, which means condom usage tends to continue to based in fear – it’s all about neg guys protecting themselves from dirty/evil poz guys. To me that’s just incredibly divisive…

Anyway, back to Mason… After an hour talking with him I really got the sense that he’s a sweet, somewhat submissive guy… He kept calling me ‘Sir’ which was pretty endearing. I don’t know if he just knows the buttons to push with guys like me or if he’s genuinely that way, but I liked our chat a lot… I kept getting the sense that he was sorta vulnerable and that he needed a protector. My daddy instincts kept getting triggered with him…   He would make an incredible boy for some top daddy…

The other side of him is the persona of Mason Wyler. He’s sorta built up this persona that he’s a total slut, and while there does seem to be a side of him that enjoys being a slut (he’s been in 200+ porn videos in about 5 year – averaging one every 9 days for 5 years), his day-to-day life is way more boring and average than that. It seems the persona he created works against him at time like this (and probably back when the whole rape thing was going on). People see the image of a slut and trivialize what he goes through when it comes to things like rape and HIV.

So what’s Mason’s future look like? Well, his porn career will change somewhat… Unfortunately, while there are poz guys in condom porn many of them don’t like to discuss their status, which means all of them have to sorta stay in the closet about their HIV status. As soon as one of them is known to be poz (like Mason) the assumption is that the guys he does scenes with are poz. I hate closets and lies… The whole idea that poz guys can’t be open about things just bugs me.

That means I’d guess Mason will mostly be doing bareback porn (where being poz is no big deal) even though he’s open to both condom and bareback. But he really prefers bareback – so much so that he wishes could start his own bareback porn production company (though he doesn’t have the capital to do it). Frankly, I’m really glad he’ll be doing bareback porn. I’m totally looking forward to featuring it here on the site. It’ll be hot seeing him take loads

In terms of Mason’s personal future – I get the sense he still has a few things to figure out about being poz, but that’s to be expected. Hopefully he’ll get some poz friends and compare notes. If you’re in Houston and poz (and don’t want to just get in his pants) you might try hitting him up – I got the sense he’d really like a local poz buddy…

But all in all, he’ll be fine… I’m guessing he’ll be better than ever a year from now…

UPDATE: I had an hour long IM chat session with Mason Wyler. It changed my perception of him and I think I understand him a lot better now. Read my write up of the chat…

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If you haven’t heard by now, Mason Wyler disclosed this week that he tested HIV+ in May, but he only came out with the news after having his status “outed”. What I’m about to say here is a lot of conjecture, but I’d almost put money on most of it being true…

Let’s go back to October 2008 when Mason posted a blog post with alternate wording to the song “Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer”…

Then all the gay boys hated him
as they shouted out with glee:
“Bobby with your unsafe sex,
you’ll die alone in misery!”

From that post it’s clear Mason looks down on poz guys and apparently thinks barebacking is so awful that barebackers are punished by becoming poz and that they will (or should) die alone in misery. Thing was, even when he wrote that, he was secretly attracted to barebacking. A few months after that post he put up blog posts talking about his attraction to bareback sex and bareback porn and then he’d take them down a little while later apparently out of shame/guilt. [Read more in my blog post back then about Mason's love/hate relationship with barebacking.]

Now he’s poz and apparently still holds his negative attitude about poz guys. Even the wording of his disclosure shows he feels shame and self-hatred…

I tested positive. I have only myself to blame. I have HIV and it kind of sucks.

“Blame”… There’s no acceptance in that statement – just self-loathing and shame. I mean really, in what way has his life changed? Well, maybe some condom-Nazi studios won’t work with him any more, but other than that, how is his life all that worse now than it was a couple years ago?

And lets not forget – with the amount of sex someone like Mason has, there’s a good chance he got infected through safe sex. He hasn’t revealed details, but safe sex is not safe – it’s just lower risk. Have enough of it and the cumulative risk builds up. If he was fucking a lot with condoms then he could have very well gotten infected that way – which makes his shame all the more sad (potentially).

Then a few days after he disclosed his status he felt the need to clarify things a bit…

I have not gone around fucking, barebacking, or infecting HIV negative people. I am a sex fiend. I am NOT a monster.

So apparently he thinks poz guys who have sex with neg guys are monsters. Interesting choice of words. To be blunt, the poz guys I fuck are anything but monsters. And guys who have bareback sex are consenting adults.

So let’s put things in perspective… First off, he’s a HOT messed up little boy who is listening to all the wrong people. I mentioned he’s hot, right? I mean that is one beautiful poz ass…

But I digress… The issue here is Mason’s fear, loathing, shame and self-hatred. It’s just sad. He’s like this confused messed up little boy. Where did he get the idea poz guys die alone in misery? Really? Who gave him that idea? Probably “Condom Nazis”. And they think barebackers and bareback porn are hurting the gay community. As far as I’m concerned their fear and hatred does more damage to our community than barebacking ever will. Mind you, back in the day there really was something to fear – HIV could kill you in a couple years. But these days I’m more worried when I find out someone is a chain smoker or likes to PNP.

I’m not saying HIV is desirable, instead I’m saying it’s really sad to see someone like Mason hate himself for becoming poz. It’s completely possible he got pozzed by a high-viral load top while he was wearing a condom. Most poz guys are on meds, and it’s safer to bareback with a poz guy who’s on meds than it is to have protected sex with a poz guy who’s not on meds. I don’t get the sense that he has any big picture sorta perspective. It’s like he’s back in the late 80’s and he thinks his life just ended or something.

There’s a reason why I tell guys to accept risks before they take them. If you like taking anonymous loads, just accept the fact that you’ll probably become poz, it’s not the end of the world, and then go on and enjoy your life. I don’t get the sense that Mason is enjoying his life or that he’s accepted and embraced his new status. He loves sex and has only hooked up 3 times since he tested poz in May. For someone like him that’s just horribly wrong. It’s done. It’s over. Move on and make the most of it…

And for god’s sake reject all the negativity and the people who spread it…

I really hope Mason comes to peace with being poz and learns to make the most of it. I would love to see him in some good bareback porn – maybe getting gangbanged by a bunch of poz tops. That’s one video which would be really hot if it included “poz talk” – seeing him get past his fear and really embrace being poz and beg guys to shoot toxic loads in his cunt would be incredible.

Over on Breeding Zone I archive the world of bareback blogging just because I’ve seen so many blogs fall by the wayside over the years and it’s a shame to see all their stories just disappear. Hell, a blogger named Geek Slut is the blogger who inspired me to start my blog and all his stories are gone now. I really wish I could go back and read his old stories, but I can’t.

Anyway, I pulled the feed for one blogger who took serious offense at the fact that I pulled and used his RSS feed. Umm, it’s public, he didn’t use snippets, and the last S in RSS stands for ’syndication’ – which is exactly what I was doing. There’s long-standing precedents for archiving web content – take a look at archive.org and you can see what web sites looked like going back over 10 years. I don’t think he understands the web well enough to understand all that – whatever…

However, his biggest issue seemed to be that he hated being associated with me… On his blog he the following of me…

[rawTOP] repulses me physically, morally and character-wise; he’s sincerely damaged

I love how he throws in not liking my body with the other things – as if there’s a connection between the two. lol

Then he described our brief conversation as follows…

I then explained how I found his views, opinions and more importantly, actions morally repugnant to me and did not want to associate myself with him or his blog. He then went into a diatribe of how he’s a regular Mother Teresa and essentially providing a service to all young kids who (misguidedly!) want to become HIV +.

Actually, I never said any of that. I said more or less what I said above – that I’m trying to preserve the the written legacy of barebackers. In the brief conversation we did have he said the following…

The reality is, I hold NO opinions that coincide with yours (I don’t even respect them) and you do and write things on your blog that make me cringe, specifically intentionally trying to “convert” people to HIV to please an audience. That is so fucking twisted and abusive that it’s devoid of any morality. Meaning, and this is VERY important, I wouldn’t WANT any followers from your blog. I understand you’re only trying to make money. Just don’t do it off me as I don’t want to be in any way associated with you or your blog

Ummm… As far as I know, I’m neg. How exactly am I trying to convert people to HIV? (Sounds like a religion, the way he’s talking about it). If he’s talking about the fact that I find bug chasing sorta fascinating, I allow it to be discussed on my forum, and I think it’s a lot more honest than burying your head in the sand and pretending that being a bareback bottom won’t make you poz – well, yeah, but that’s not anywhere close to what he’s saying try to “convert” people.

Bottom line – my point of view is consistent and honest. His is just fucked up. He has a blog dedicated to his bareback exploits – that’s what you’d call promoting barebacking. Barebacking is risky – especially for bottoms. Yet he doesn’t want to discuss that risk apparently. In the same blog post where he criticizes me he talks about how he convinced to some tops to take raw dick. So he talks about how it’s fun to get guys to take risks, but then wants to pretend he lives in a world where there are no risks. Yeah, that’s way more responsible than what I do…

There are three mentions of ‘risk’ on his blog – one was the risk of getting caught having public sex, another was in a comment submitted by a user, and the third was he didn’t want to “risk” cumming too quickly, so he put on a condom to reduce the sensation and last longer.

There are also three mentions of HIV on his blog – one is in reference to me, the other two are complaining that he realized two of the bottoms he fucked were poz after he fucked them. [Dude, assume all bareback bottoms are poz and you'll be a hell of a lot closer to the truth.] The words ‘poz’ and ‘pos’ never show up on his blog (only HIV).

Apparently his is a world where “neg” bareback bottoms are really neg and risk never needs to be discussed or explored. Problem is, that world doesn’t really exist. I know, I tried living in it and found things just didn’t work that way.

My approach is to acknowledge the risk, discuss the risk, figure out if it’s right for the particular person, and then have them take responsibility for their sex life and accept the potential consequences ideally before they take the risk. Yes, in some cases “accepting the consequences” means the person embraces the consequences and actually seeks out getting pozzed. It’s their sex life and it’s an informed decision – who is he to say that’s wrong? I have WAY more respect for bug chasers than I do for guys who think they can get fucked raw all the time and stay neg.

I know some guys just don’t want to think about HIV and risk. I get that. But if you’ve never thought about it and you’re kidding yourself by thinking you can have high risk sex and stay neg – then you’re doing a disservice to  yourself and others. While there’s no need to constantly think about the risk – think about it long enough to figure out what’s right for you – so deep down you understand and accept the risks.

So what do you think? Does he have a point?

[And no, I'm not going to tell you who he is and I'll delete any comments that say who he is... He doesn't need the free publicity.]

I’ve got a bit of an odd situation… This hot 22 y.o. jock wants to be my ‘boy’ – as in a live-in, dedicated relationship where he’s my primary fuck hole. He’s not in New York, I’ve never hooked up with him, but he’s coming to New York later this month for a few months and will probably stay here permanently…

Here’s the good parts…

• He’s HOT:
  • 22 y.o.
  • Great body (see pic)
  • VERY attractive
• He’s very submissive and wants to be owned
• He likes daddies and bears
• He’s be interested in puppy play
• He’ll drink piss
• He understands/accepts that I’ll fuck other bottoms, not just him, and that there’s a risk of STDs, etc.
• He understands/accepts that my bf comes first and is willing to do a 3way arrangement where he’s be a boy for both of us
• He’s bright, professional, and has a lot going for him other than his looks and submissiveness

But there are things that make me wonder…

• He’s only ever been fucked by 4 guys, and has never had cum in his ass – I’ll be the first person to breed him
• He’s only ever had sex (of any sort) with 20-30 guys (he seems to mostly like oral)
• He’s never met me and has a hard time explaining why he’s into me other than I’m his type and he’s been reading my blog for years
• I can tell he really would prefer a 1-on-1 monogamous relationship with a dom top / master – not a 3way open relationship

Bottom line, I think he’s built me up in his mind and when he really gets to know me he’ll realize I don’t match is fantasy and that will be the end of things. While a good dom top isn’t easy to find, if anyone can get exactly what he wants it’s someone like him – young, hot and focused. I honestly think he’ll realize New York is so big that there are tops who exactly match what he’s looking for and he’ll “trade up”.

Still, there’s a decent chance he’s for real and I’m not going to pass up the chance that something like this can work out. I would be totally hot to take him in full puppy gear to some place like MAL or IML or even just out to the Eagle for drinks. It would also be nice to have a hot ass to fuck and seed whenever I want. And while we don’t really have space in our apartment for a 3rd person right now, that’ll change next year when we move into our new place.

I’ve talked it over with my bf, since having a boy would be a major change in our relationship – He’s also skeptical, but like me sorta hopeful and willing to try it out.

So what do people think? Anyone have experience with a similar relationship?

UPDATE: The boy flaked on me. It’s been about a week and a half since I heard from him. He just sorta disappeared. Maybe he got cold feet. Maybe it was all a fantasy. Guess I’ll never know. Oh well. Woulda been nice, but it’s clearly not going to happen.

I’ve been wanting to get up to 0 gauge on my PA for a while now. Years ago I thought I wanted to go to 00 and didn’t realize how much bigger it was than the 2 ga ring I had in (which was actually more like 3 ga) so I had bought the 00 only to realize it completely fills my urethra, so then I reduced my goal to 0 ga. Back then I never could get the 0 ga in, and I stopped wearing the PA for a while there, but this morning I got it back in… It’s considerably heavier than my 2 ga ring. I really like how heavy it is swinging at the end of my dick.

So here it is…

If you want to see more pics of my PA, check out the photo album of my Prince Albert on Breeding Zone. You’ll need to be logged in to see the album. Originally I embedded a pic from that gallery in this post, but then I realized you couldn’t see it (oops).

I’ve been getting behind on my projects and things are only going to get worse (much worse actually) in September, so I need to get things in order before then. To that end, I’m looking for a porn blog writer. Your work will mostly be on my condom/solo blogs  – there’s Wily Willy, Twisted Pig, a teen blog and a “real men” blog I’ve been wanting to revamp, and some others I’ve been wanting to start (like a pretty boy / jock blog).

I’m looking for someone who first and foremost is a bit pervy and enjoys writing. I don’t want someone with a formal writing style – rather I need someone who has a pretty informal, honest and frank writing style. Ideally you’d also find a really broad range of guys hot ’cause I’ll need you to write about everything from skinny little teens to chubby daddies and that can be difficult if you’re not into the guys you’re writing about. (If I can’t find someone who’s into a broad range of guys I may hire a couple guys – one for twinks and jocks and another for “men”.)

I’m thinking I’ll hire two guys each for 8-10 hours a week – one for twinks/jocks and another for men. You can work a few hours each day – it doesn’t have to be two full days. And I can work around your schedule. For example, if you want to work 2 days every other week, that’s fine. However, long-term commitment to the project is essential. If you’re unemployed and will be going back to full-time work, that probably won’t work. If you’ve got part time work, or your in school, then it’s a much better match.

Pay will start at $10/hour (and go up in time if things go well). If you’re in the US the income you earn will be reported with a 1099 (independent contractor – no benefits and you’re responsible for paying your taxes). You’ll work from home, so you can be located anywhere in the world. I have a preference for someone who’s a native English speaker, though someone who’s been educated in the US (high school, college, etc.) will probably be fine if you really immersed yourself in gay culture while you were here.

If, after all that, you’re interested, send me an e-mail and explain how you’d be good for the position – rawtop@yahoo.com

UPDATE: I wrote this, went and took a short nap, came back and already had two responses and then a few more since then. I’ve changed the description above to hiring two guys, not one, since I want people to be working on stuff they find hot and if you’re into big hairy bears you probably won’t do so well with videos of 99 lb Asian teens and vice versa. So tell me what sorta stuff you’re most interested in…

UPDATE 2: I’ve got all the responses I could possibly handle. Actually a little confused as to who to pick. So not looking for anyone else. If you’ve already sent me something – be patient… I’m trying to figure things out – it’s not an easy process.