My apologies for not updating the blog with stuff that’s been going on, but the truth of the matter is that not much has been going on – sexually at least… Life has been a bit crazy lately on a number of levels. Work has been busy on several fronts and I feel like I’m constantly behind on everything. On top of that my bf and I are about to embark on a HUGE project that’s going to consume a crazy amount of time for up to a year (those of you who know me know what that is). So this is just sorta early warning that I may not be fucking as much as I’d like… Life is like that sometimes. But the end result will hopefully be VERY good.

And in the middle of everything else I managed to get a pretty disruptive STD that’s made it so I couldn’t fuck (ethically at least). I noticed a little thing on my dick and then it spread to a few places on the head of my cock. I was scheduled to see the doctor the following Tuesday so I didn’t go into the Saturday drop-in clinic at Callen-Lorde. Then it turned out the appointment I thought was on Tuesday was actually on a Wednesday. Then a snowstorm came and they closed Callen-Lorde and canceled my appointment. So that meant a week delay getting treated. Then when I went in the doctor thought I had herpes, but then he called back saying I actually had syphilis. I got my shot for that the day after he called (in itself a long story that I won’t go into). Then it’s taken forever for my dick to heal and return to looking normal. I knew everything was safely killed, but it looked like shit. About the only type of hookup I could have done would have been a dark room pump-and-dump.

Oh yeah – I did finally get confirmation that I was negative for herpes (thank god!), but only after taking Valtrex for nearly two weeks (and paying a $70 copay for the shit).

So I haven’t been fucking much. I was thinking of hooking up this weekend, but between the big project and regular work, that just didn’t happen. I’m hoping to change that in the next day or two though so hopefully I’ll have more to tell you guys soon.

If you’ve been trying to hookup with me, that’s why I’ve been saying “can’t hookup for a few days”. I didn’t want to say anything until it was over and things were back to normal. But I’ll definitely be wanting to do some quick and easy fucks over the next week or so to make up for lost time.

And for the record, I think I managed to tell everyone who I could think of who might have been affected by my syphilis, and everyone who told me their results said they were neg. So I don’t seem to have passed it onto anyone (or at least not many people). But the point is STDs are a bitch but they’re also just sort of a fact of life for people who are sexually active. We need to be open and honest about them so people can get them treated and they don’t spread. Never be silent – always tell guys that they should get tested – otherwise you might wind up playing viral ping pong with them.

The other thing I’ve been thinking is that someone really needs to come up with a nicer name for syphilis. It sounds so horrible. Gonorrhea is called “The Clap” since there was a madame named “Mother Clap” who ran a whore house in the 1800s where guys kept getting Gonorrhea. And chlamydia is just a nice name to begin with. It sounds like a flower or something. I could totally envision someone saying they gave their boyfriend or girlfriend a dozen chlamydias for Valentines Day. Herpes sounds like a Greek hero… So syphilis really needs a cute nick name to put it on par with all the other STDs… Any suggestions?

UPDATE: It Gets Worse…

So someone showed up at my door today. She asked if I was [insert my name here]. I said yes. I asked who she was and she gave her name. She asked me to confirm my date of birth so she knew I was who I said I was. I asked her who she was and she repeated her name. I clarified that I wanted to know who she was with and she refused and said she couldn’t say that before I confirmed my date of birth. We had a bit of a Catch 22. I wasn’t giving out my birth date to a stranger and she wouldn’t explain myself unless I did. She had an envelope in her hand, so I took it and opened it and saw she was from the Department of Health. I knew why she was there so I let her in the apartment.

Since I had a positive test result DOH is required to follow up. I understand why the law exists but it’s incredibly invasive, completely frustrating, and felt like it took forever. I won’t go into every gory detail but, among other things she wanted details on everyone who I’d had sex with for months and months. I was evasive and said I didn’t know their contact details, but I also made it clear that I contacted everyone who I thought might be affected and that some of them had gotten tested and come back negative. She got the name of my boyfriend and obviously she knows his address. I told her we hadn’t had sex in a very long time but she kept going on and on about how he could have gotten it from touching me. I’m thinking if guys didn’t get it when I fucked them, what was the likelihood he got it even from touching my dick? Still, we’ll get him tested just in case. She even wanted him to get treated before the test results come back. That’s not going to happen…

At one point she told me I shouldn’t be having sex for 6 to 8 weeks which just didn’t sound right to me. I’ve never heard anything like that. So once she was gone I looked it up and she was, indeed, wrong. According to the CDC…

Persons who receive syphilis treatment must abstain from sexual contact with new partners until the syphilis sores are completely healed. [Source]

Which is exactly what I did… Needless to say, I trust the doctors and epidemiologists writing the CDC web site way more than I trust some lowly paid DOH employee with a shit job no one else wants. And guess what, even the web site of her own agency disagrees with her…

Don’t have sex until you … have been completely treated and all of your symptoms have disappeared [Source]

All in all she was just incredibly judgmental and rude – and she didn’t even have her facts straight. She kept reiterating that from now on I’ll test positive for syphilis as if that means I’ve got an active case of it. And the idea that my bf should get treatment even before he’s tested when he’s barely touched my dick (with his hand) is just completely over the top. I kept having to remind her that while I’d put up with her doing her legal obligations, I didn’t need her to stand there and pass judgment on me and lecture me. Then she wanted me to get my sex partners to go to the DOH clinic. AS IF I want to subject them to people like her. I told her I always suggest going to Callen-Lorde ’cause they’re gay friendly and non-judgmental. But it was like that wasn’t good enough for her.

I take these things pretty seriously and to be treated like I don’t is really aggravating. I’m not a leper – I just a regular guy who got an STD. It’s not like I’m trying to spread it or anything… Weeks before she came around, and hours after I found out, I contacted people I thought should know. That should make someone like her happy, but she couldn’t even muster up a positive word about that. Hopefully she believed me and the case is closed.

Looking back at it I think next time I’ll refuse to speak with them and say I’ll only speak with them if they send a gay man. I think a big part of what happened was homophobia on her part. A gay man would have handled the situation very differently. If the DOH comes knocking at your door, you might want to do the same thing…

Just for the hell of it, here’s a graph that shows the current “epidemic” she was telling me about. I find it fascinating that there was a huge spike around 1990 when everyone was using condoms and being very conscious of their sexual health. I also find it odd that I arrived right about that time and didn’t hear anything about it even though it’s the highest rate of infection in the past 70 years.

So yes, since barebacking has become popular (after 1996 when protease inhibitors came out), there’s been a rise in cases. Is it an “epidemic”? Well, historically, not so much though it is going up, but the rate it’s going up is pretty slow compared to other times it’s gone up.

One other interesting detail in the report is that most of the cases were men (which you can see above) and about 87% of the men were “MSMs” (Men who have Sex with Men). So the current rise in syphilis is a gay issue, but my guess is that that’s probably been true since at least the 70s.

First the good news…

The Dutch have figured out that a person who is diagnosed at 25 will live an average of another 52.2 years – meaning they live into their upper 70s and have a pretty normal lifespan. So as we’ve sorta known for a while now – HIV is genuinely going from a “killer” to an “inconvenience” and that tren will probably continue as years go on. I don’t mean to diminish how big of a hassle being poz can be, but if you get diagnosed quickly and generally take care of yourself, it would appear you no longer need to worry about your life being cut short because of HIV/AIDS. But getting diagnosed fairly quickly is essential…

[That should be very good news for the 18 y.o. Teen Cumhole I talked about in my last post...]

Now for the bad news…

The bad news is that they’re not so optimistic in Africa. The South Africans are suggesting that everyone who becomes poz be put on meds immediately whether they need the meds or not. When you think that a lot of the people who are dying of AIDS today are people who are having serious complications from the meds they took 10 and 20 years ago, that’s a dangerous policy. I’m all for people taking the meds they need, but I’m a fierce opponent of medicating people who don’t need it.

The issue here is really one of which comes first – the rights of the individual or protecting the wider community from the danger posed by the individual? Americans will usually say the individual comes first, but in Europe and elsewhere the community comes first. But I think it’s important to remember the good news from the first part of this blog post – IF you get diagnosed early and are financially able to get treatment there really is very little risk to the community. But in poor countries like South Africa they don’t have the money for great treatment and so they have debates like this. I just hope no one in the first world tries to make an argument for mandatory medication… That would just be horribly wrong.

This teen contacted me a few weeks ago…

hi, sir. i dont know if you got my message on xtube. im the 18 yo bottom from san diego who sees himself as a total cumhole but doesnt really know where to begin. your blog is so fucking hot to me and i would be honored to take your load. if you want some pics for your own viewing pleasure just email me. i’m very slim and very cute and i know what kind of boys you like. i think im a good match for you

I got back to him with a few pointers on how to get loads – things like looking for sex parties, going to a bathhouses (and laying face down), and how to be assertive about getting dick but not aggressive. He then got back to me and (among other things) told me a little more about himself…

a little about me. hmm. well i’m a senior in hs, 18 years old, into some sports, movies, just having fun i guess. but i also have this other side of me which seems to be an insatiable cum whore haha. which is why i respect you so much and love your blog. i feel the need to be used in every sense of the word and have my hole stuffed and filled with sperm. the sheer idea of having a man’s sperm inside me drives me crazy because, in a way, it makes him a part of me and it makes me his subordinate because i’m taking his load. it’s like an act of submission. i’m saying all this because i think you understand…

At this point I wasn’t sure if he was actually taking loads or not. It sorta sounded like he was just fantasizing about it. So I sent him a message and asked how he was thinking about getting started…

well i’m already on adam4adam but i’m getting dozens of messages every 20 minutes. it’s kind of difficult for me to figure out how to go about setting things up with tops because i can’t possibly take all of their loads…not enough hours in the day haha. the thing is, i don’t want to be picky. i just want to be a cumdump. and i feel like part of being a sub cumhole is to not tell guys “no” because one looks better than the other. am i right or is that just a misconception?

I STILL wasn’t sure if he was taking loads so I asked directly and suggested that he try hosting so he could schedule a bunch of tops and get one load after another.

yeah, i have been taking loads from this guy who lives one freeway exit away from me. it’s convenient so i havent branched out yet really. that’s why i wanted to talk on IM. i’ve got some questions that you might be able to answer. is there such thing as a sub bottom who loves taking loads but just prefers the neg ones? i’m not looking to be pozzed by any means so i feel like i’m sort of a walking paradox.

At this point I figured he needed me to be pretty direct, so I told him…

basically, cumdump bottom = poz bottom… you’ll be really conflicted until you accept that… you can try serosorting, but it will fail eventually. serosorting sounds like a nice idea, but it just doesn’t work long term unless you’re the relationship type who really gets to know his tops and even then i can say from personal experience that you don’t really know what risks your tops are taking…

He got back to me and told me that “made sense” and that was sorta the last thing we discussed on the poz issue other than the fact that he mentioned he’s never been tested for HIV and doesn’t plan to get tested for a while.

A few days had gone past and I had been busy and hadn’t gotten back to him. So then he tell me how “his top” took him to a bathhouse that had a lot of older guys and took him into the sauna and fucked him raw in front of the guys who were there. He pulled out and let two anonymous tops fuck him no questions asked one after the other. They both unloaded in his ass and then “his top” gave him a 3rd load. So he got 3 loads in 20 minutes and two of those loads were from complete strangers. Pretty hot, eh?

At this point I knew the guy was pretty serious so I asked him if he’d be interested in doing a blog to record his journey. He’s at this critical stage where he’s making major decisions and experimenting. Luckily he was up for it. I checked and TeenCumhole.com was available so I bought it for him and set it up a few days later. One of the things I was thinking as I bought the domain for him was that when you give someone a label, they usually live up to it. Call someone smart or stupid or “hot” or ugly and that’s how they see themselves and they tend to live up to the labels other people give them. In this case I was giving him a label – Teen Cumhole – and I fully expect he’ll adopt it and become a full-fledged cumhole.

In the past week he’s branching out, going to the bathhouse on his own, finding other tops to hookup with. I get the sense that this is the beginning of his sex life and he’s not doing it timidly – he’s learning to swim by jumping in the deep end. Not bad for a guy who only turned 18 a few months ago…

Needless to say, make sure you check out his blog – TeenCumhole.com. Give him encouragement and if you’re in the San Diego area and want to give him a load, contact him and make it happen. Or better yet, organize a gangbang for him…

Jayson Park texted me around 3:30 and asked if the gangbang was over and if I wanted to go down and see the puppy play in the lobby bar which was ending soon. The last of the tops had left just after 3pm so we officially called the gang bang over and headed downstairs to get a drink and watch the puppies.

The puppy event was pretty much over by the time we got there, but we saw the tail end of it. Speaking of tails – I love how the puppy tales wag. If you have no clue what I’m talking about, “puppies” are bottom who identify as dogs. In some cases it’s just play, but often we’re talking about guys who see themselves as dogs in male bodies. So they dress up as dogs. There’s a collar and leash (of course), “puppy mitts” (which are basically small leather bags that they put their hands in – a lot like the booties they put on the paws of real dogs in the winter), then they often wear puppy hoods that have ears and a snout (very cute), and then there’s the puppy tail – which is basically a butt plug with a rubber tail coming out of the end. The tails wag when the puppy moves and it’s all very cute…

Then we headed over to the leather mart. Unlike IML, the leather mart at MAL is shoehorned into this really small space and it’s absolutely packed with people. One of the only video companies that was there was Dick Wadd – they had actually shot an 8  person scene the first night in which my friend/fb Jayson Park got fucked by 3 guys. One of the other guys in the scene was Jake Wetmore who I have a total crush on. Luckily he was at the Dick Wadd booth when Jayson, me and my bottom went up. He’s a total sweetie – almost goofy. We talked for a little bit which was really nice. And I gotta say – he’s MUCH hotter in person than on film (and I thought he was hot before seeing him).

We continued around and did some shopping. I was trying to keep on a budget so just bought some lube, some boot socks and a couple hankies. There was a CODE party at a bar nearby that night so I bought tickets for that as well.

We then went back to the room. My boy was tired so he surfed the web a little and then wanted to sleep. There had been a really hot pretty boy vers top at the gangbang and the boy figured out who he was and started corresponding with him. That connection turned out to be significant a day later – but more about that in a later post.

I was hungry, so I met Jayson Park in his room to look at what he was wearing that night and to head off to dinner. But of course hot nearly-naked guy… We fucked first and then figured out what he was going to wear   When I fucked I was too lazy to take off my chaps, so it was a bit of an awkward fuck since I didn’t have much flexibility and with all the clothes on I didn’t cum. But Jayson always gets me rock hard, so it’s never a problem to just whip it out and fuck at a moments notice…

Anyway, we finally went down to the restaurant to grab a bite to eat. Jayson was thinking of continuing not to eat, but decided to eat a house salad. Food goes through him in 12 hours, and he doesn’t get fucked in the morning, and salads are as safe as you get in terms of staying “clean”, so it was a safe bet and got something into his system.

I was so tired by this point. I had gotten very little sleep the night before but the day kept going… I was so tired that I knew it was pointless to try to arrange a hookup… So it was off to the CODE Party.

The CODE party was in the same place as the bear event the night before only this time the place was packed. You had to be in proper “gear” to get in – could be leather, athletic gear, motorcycle, etc. There was everything from leather daddies to twinks just in jockstraps and tennis shoes to bikers in full biker gear and helmets. It was a pretty great crowd.

I’d been trying to get a “read” on my bottom since he’d arrived and was having a really hard time of it. However, I could tell he was liking the CODE party. For one he said “I’m in heaven right now”, and when they did the bondage demonstration and hog tied a hot muscle daddy he couldn’t get his eyes off it (pic below – personally I couldn’t get my eyes off the young Asian cutie next to the demonstration)…

HOWEVER, he was totally not interested in the dark room area which surprised me. I thought he was there to be a cum dump. Every cum dump I know would have spent pretty much the whole night in that one room hoping for loads. So I knew something was up. He was enjoying himself – but not in the way I expected or intended.

Jayson Park went with us and I haven’t mentioned yet that he was wearing these crazy outfits all weekend. Most of his shirts didn’t go much below his nipples and he’d wear these little shorts that showed off how fuckable his ass was. The last day he was there a total stranger walked up to him and commented “So, you really do have full t-shirts”…

The outfit he wore to the CODE party was the most revealing of all of them… He had white boxer shoes on, tall white socks with black bands at the top, a tiny t-shirt that just barely went below his nipples and then he had “a sock” jock on. Sock jocks have a waist band and then a cock ring thing in the pouch so they don’t have any straps going down in the back (pics below, courtesy of Shutter Pup who was so enamored with Jayson that he actually rimmed him right in the middle of the club at one point).

Jayson also brought a bottle of Gun Oil which I held onto for him, but which he (unfortunately) never used. It was a total “Fuck Me” outfit, but he’s not into anonymous sex and didn’t make a connection with anyone there, so the point of it was sorta lost. But it was hot!

We had gotten there pretty early and we left pretty early, by that I mean it was probably like 12:30 or 1:00 when we left… We got back to the hotel and I was just dead tired. My primary objective was to get a decent night’s sleep so I’d be up for fucking on Sunday. The bottom was tired too and a bit worn out from the gangbang and generally tired. I would have liked it if he had walked the halls looking for loads. A real cumhole would have, but as I went to sleep he was on his computer – I thought he was looking for tops, but the next day I found out he was IM’ing until 3 in the morning with the pretty boy vers top from the gangbang…

Load 2010-1

UPDATE: Remembered a few more details, so I changed the post…

A lot as happened since Saturday morning, but I’ll try my best to remember the details. My bottom had taken three loads in pretty rapid succession the night before and we had a gangbang scheduled for 2pm on Saturday with over 100 tops expressing an interest in coming. However, the gangbang of another cumhole the night before was a bit of a dud, so I wasn’t sure how things would go…

I didn’t sleep well that night and got up feeling tired. One of the lessons I learned at IML was to eat properly so you don’t get run down, so I went to breakfast (the bottom said he didn’t want to eat). I had a full breakfast with cold runny eggs, cold french toast, etc. – it was pretty lame, but it got food into my system.

I wanted to videotape me fucking the bottom, so I set up the lights and got the camera ready… For a few reasons my dick just wasn’t into it. It was hot, I was tired, and I think my digesting food didn’t help either. So we took a break. However, I did notice a certain hesitation on the part of the bottom about being videotaped. I couldn’t have been more clear when we were discussing the weekend. I was paying the room charges and finding tops to fuck him in exchange for him letting me videotape him. I was fine with him wearing a hood, but me videotaping him was a given (so I thought)…

The bottom then decided he was hungry so he went for breakfast. While he was downstairs eating there was a knock on the door. I had been giving out the room number and wondered who the guy was here for. He was young and lean and pretty hot so I had him come in. We started playing together and he just wasn’t responding when I touched his ass, so I asked if he had been chatting with a top or a bottom and he said a bottom. Now mind you, I looked nothing like the bottom – I’m not sure why he didn’t say something sooner. So I texted my bottom and told him he had a top waiting for him and then I played the role of cocksucker to keep the guy happy and in the room while the bottom got back. Frankly, I did a lot more cocksucking than I’m usually comfortable with and he said he almost blew his load a few times, but I was purposely just trying to edge him and not let him cum since while I love the taste of cum, I wanted the load up my bottom’s ass, not down my throat.

Finally the bottom got back and it was just in time ’cause the guy was literally ready to blow. The bottom started giving him a blowjob but I told him he was ready to blow so the bottom just bent over the bed and took the guy’s dick and since I had been edging him for 15 minutes or so he blew in the bottom’s ass pretty quickly.

After that another top came by and fucked him and blew in his ass. I was sitting and jacking my dick and seeing him take a load got me boned. So now that he had 2 loads in him I got up and started fucking him. I suggested putting our hoods on and turning on the video camera but he talked me out of him. Later he said he was worried it would interrupt the flow and I accepted the explanation, but now I wonder if it was just avoidance…

So I just kept fucking him. His hole felt good and it was getting me off that he was taking loads… It wasn’t long before I blew my load up his hole. The last time I came had been Thursday, so it was a big load. When the other top had gone the bottom seemed really happy.

Then another top came by a little while later and the bottom took a 4th load – all before the gangbang… So now he was up to 7 loads.

IMPORTANT: This poll is only for guys who are sexually active with a bunch of different guys. If you don’t bareback or you’re generally monogamous, or you just don’t hookup much, DON’T FILL OUT THE POLL.

My 2010 is starting out with a leaky dick, so no sex for me for a bit. Callen-Lorde’s Saturday drop in clinic was closed for the holidays when I tried to go this weekend, but luckily I was able to get an appointment for today, so I’ll be back in the saddle by Wednesday or Thursday… Which seems sorta pointless since I know I’ll have to go back in a couple weeks to clean up what I catch at MAL. But that’s just how it goes…

But that made me wonder how common STDs are for those of us who bareback. Mind you, I managed to get HEP B years ago back when I was playing safe, so condoms aren’t totally effective, but they do help a bit. But I know for me I’ll get something when I go for weekends like IML or MAL (I can just count on it), and then I’ll probably get an STD 2-3 other times in the year depending on how much I fuck. So I’m at 3-4 times a year on average.

What’s your experience?

IMPORTANT: This poll is only for guys who are sexually active with a bunch of different guys. If you don’t bareback or you’re generally monogamous, or you just don’t hookup much, DON’T FILL OUT THE POLL.

UPDATE: So I went in and got meds to clean up whatever it is I’ve got. Also got an HIV test – and once again it was negative. The funny/frustrating part was how the HIV testing counselor kept trying to talk me into safe sex. Finally I just had to be abrupt and tell her I’ve been around the block, understand the risks and I’m fine with them. She got all weird after that, but I was just there for the test – not a lecture.