Middle of this week I felt an itchiness “down there”, Thursday I saw discharge… UGH! Here we go again. It was less than 6 weeks ago that I went through this. I really don’t need this again, but what do you do? I guess in a way I should be happy that I’ve got visible symptoms and can get it cleared up quickly.

The timing was too perfect - I’m 90% sure I got it from the guy the townhouse guy had me fuck. I also told the 20-year old I fucked briefly about it, but I doubt it was him, or any of the other guys before him. It’s theoretically possible, but far more likely it was the first guy.

So, having been busy with work, I wasn’t able to get to Callen-Lorde to get things cleared up until this weekend. I noticed on their website that it talked about a Saturday morning walk-in STD clinic, so I figured I’d give that a shot. Having been to the free clinic the City runs, I was prepared and got there early - absurdly early. I was the first one there. And I waited and waited. When they officially started seeing patients an hour later it was just me and one other guy waiting to be seen. There must be times when it’s busy, but today wasn’t one of them.

There are a lot of good things about Callen-Lorde, but today was one of my best experiences ever. The staff was in a super happy mood. There was zero hassle - they asked what the problem was, and gave the fix with zero judgments (unlike the last time)…

So, I’d highly recommend trying out the Saturday clinic if you’re in need of their services or just want to get checked out…

One weird thing though… Later in the day I saw two of the guys who work at Callen-Lorde walking down the street. Didn’t think anything of it ’cause it was right near Callen-Lorde. Then a few hours later we’re in line at Uniqlo buying t-shirts (another recommended spot), and who’s behind us in line? The two guys from Callen-Lorde, plus another friend. Weird coincidence, eh?

And speaking of STDs and coincidences, right after I picked up my pills at the pharmacy I got an e-mail from the big dicked top who was at the gangbang telling me one of his fuck buddies tested positive for syph, he was being proactive and warning the guys he’d had sex with. Personally, I think that was a bit of overkill. There’s no saying he had syph… Personally I would have gotten myself tested before notifying people I’d had sex with… But he was being really responsible about it (he even contacted the bottom before contacting me)… I give him great marks for being upfront about it…

And as always guys… If you’re fucking around a bunch - get tested for STDs regularly and treat things quickly. If you find you have something, let your partners know. If they have a problem with you telling them - they’re idiots… Stopping the spread of STDs makes everyone’s sex lives better!

First the good news (since I don’t want it lost in the middle of the post)… Once again I tested HIV negative. (Any neg, STD-free bottoms want a load from a recently tested top?)

However… The day after my last hookup it became abundantly clear that I had gonorrhea. It’s a pain in the ass (or dick in my case), but it happens. Like a good responsible top I contacted everyone who might have possibly gotten it from me (or who might have possibly given it to me) - five of them in all (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)…

I’ve had clap once (or twice?) in the past, but this time it was really pretty gross… Produced a lot of discharge and was really painful (not just when I was pissing). Unfortunately I had to wait until Monday to get things cleared up.

Then I got a message on Sunday from a hot guy who wanted to hookup. I told him I couldn’t - that I needed to clear up an STD - get back to me in a week… That was in the morning. In the evening he writes me and says…

u just have the clap. its kinda a non issue to me, i can get penicillin too. tonight perhaps?

My jaw dropped… I mean this wasn’t some skanky drugged out cumdump… This was the type of guy I would go out of my way to fuck - he really was pretty hot and totally my type…

Let’s put aside for the moment the medical issues of getting and STD. How does he think it’s worth it to have a quick hookup that requires him to spend hours going to a clinic, waiting, seeing a doctor, and getting a shot? I mean, in the least, it’s a significant inconvenience. It’s one thing when it’s an accident, but to willingly do a hookup knowing you’ll get gonorrhea is something completely different.

Lately I seem to be encountering more and more guys who are just being reckless/careless… Barebacking isn’t inherently reckless - you can be completely sober, and purposeful and still have a great time being a total pig. It’s just sad to see guys spiraling… I’ve always been a bit of a control freak, so it just doesn’t make sense to me…

So I went in Monday night to get things “fixed”. They did a quick HIV test and it came back negative, as I expected. The HIV counselor was great. The doctor doing the other tests was a bit old school. He gave me a lecture on how I should use condoms, and insisted on testing my butt for stuff despite the fact I told him nothing goes in there… And then he gave me prescriptions for STDs I didn’t have assuming if I had one STD, I must have 35 others. Whatever… Got my shot and everything has cleared up…

So guys - please take STDs seriously… Get yourself tested regularly, go to a clinic when you think you might have something, and notify your partners when you find out you do have something. ‘Cause frankly - our time is better spent fucking than waiting at clinics to get rid of STDs.

Our dear reader ‘ewelthorpe’, who loves to give me a hard time, posted a comment on my last post which went as follows…

Yeah, why not have goals of licking ebola and plague out of someone’s bloody ass? I mean - get a grip! And HIV aside, you must have contracted or spread at least a few viral or bacterial agents while doing your load goal making. Like warts/HPV, hepatitis C, syphillis. Crabs! Now fess up - the butcher’s bill, as it were. What else did you give and get while loading these folks up?

His melodrama is incredible, but nonetheless this post answers his questions - thing is, he’s not going to like what he hears - but then again, he never does…

For starters - a little education… Hepatitis C is something that is nearly always passed in blood-to-blood contact - so it’s an issue primarily for IV drug users, not barebackers (unless they’re slamming crystal). Yes, if my dick were bleeding at the same time some guy’s ass were bleeding it would be possible for me to get Hep C, but the chances of that are close to nill.

When I was younger I was avid about having so-called “safe sex”. I even had two safe sex posters on the wall in my dorm room (grad school), across from my bed… So I think it bears mentioning that during my safe sex phase I was constantly getting crabs and even managed to get Hepatitis B! I remember a time when I was feeling a little down (not too bad) and I remember the whites of my eyes being a little yellow. A friend commented about it, but I didn’t feel all that bad, so I didn’t go to see a doctor. Years later I got vaccinated for Hep A and B and I remember one of the shots making my shoulder really sore. After the vaccination they checked to see if the vaccines worked and realized I had had Hep B previously, my body fought it off, and I was now permanently immune.

A few years after that I had a friend who nearly died of Hep B - they almost didn’t find a liver soon enough, and even after the liver transplant he still has issues… So yeah, I was lucky, but the fact of the matter is “safe sex” isn’t safe - it’s just safer… My most serious STD came from safe sex - and it was an STD that could have killed me.

[BTW, if you get crabs, trim your pubic hair really short and wash all your clothes and bedding in really hot water. You don't need the combs and nasty liquids if you just trim your pubes. I had to keep my pubes trimmed to avoid crabs - did that for quite a while (made my dick look bigger too...)]

I think it was around 2002 I had an outbreak of genital warts. I wasn’t hooking up much at the time and it’s hard to say when I actually got the warts since they can lie dormant for months or years. Something like 40% of gay men have them and (like most STDs) they can be contracted when you’re using a condom. [BTW, if you have warts treat them early with freezing or lasers. You do not want to have them spread and go through the pain of getting rid of them from inside your ass... I know a few guys who've had to do it and it's extremely painful.]

Otherwise, I’ve gotten a total of two STDs over the past few years (been 100% bareback since the fall of 2004, and about 50/50 before that)… Gonorrhea in 2001 from barebacking at a bathhouse in LA (Flex), and chlamydia early last year.

As far as passing things on to others… My bf had to take two pills in 2001 since he had sucked my dick before I realized I had gonorrhea - but it was just preventative - he didn’t have any sign of it. The chlamydia was more serious in that I had no idea I had it (which is pretty typical) and don’t know how many guys I fucked before I found out. I contacted 2 or 3 of my regular fuck buddies and they got tested and all came back clean.

‘Ewelthorpe’ isn’t going to like this, but all in all I’d say I had a worse time with STDs when I was having safe sex. I mean Hep B is serious and I was getting crabs constantly… What little I’ve gotten barebacking either got caught quickly or was so mild there were no symptoms and didn’t get passed onto other guys - even if I fucked them multiple times… Your milage may vary (I expect it to since statistically safe sex reduces STD infections), but that’s been my experience…

Personally I don’t think that’s a horrible STD history for 18 years of sex… Especially since I’ve sometimes barebacked guys who take anonymous loads - if I’m going to get stuff it’s more likely to be from them than anyone else, but yet I really don’t get all that many STDs - years pass between infections…

That said - get yourself vaccinated for Hep A, Hep B and HPV - even if you have “safe sex” and think you’re low risk. It’s just silly to catch something potentially serious and/or painful that you could avoid with a simple vaccination… And if you think you have something - go to a clinic and get treated.

Went to Callen-Lorde tonight for HIV test and STD screening. I’m still neg (as I expected). The people there were easy going and non-judgemental - didn’t ask more questions than they needed to.

So, if you’re a neg bottom in NYC looking for a recently tested bareback top - let me know…

I’ve gotten a few e-mails wondering what’s up with me since I haven’t posted anything in a really long time. Well, I’m still here, but believe it or not I haven’t fucked anyone in a month and a half (44 days to be exact).

There are a couple of reasons for the inactivity. Without going into too much detail (”nothing personal…”) I’m self employed and while that means I can hookup in the middle of the day when I’m not busy, it also means that when I am busy I can be completely swamped - and I’ve definitely been swamped. The nervous energy of being worried about being behind with work has sorta killed my drive to seed holes (believe it or not).

The other reason is because I had a call from the doctor saying that when I was tested for STDs in January that I tested positive for chlamydia, which is one of those things you can have and not know it, but even when the call came I hadn’t fucked anyone in over a week so that only really slowed me down for a week or so (I took my pills and had to wait a week).

The weird part was that they didn’t call me for 4 weeks (the results are supposed to come back in two weeks). To me that’s just lame. Who knows how long I had it, but I told some of the guys I fucked and the Brazilian told me he came back completely neg, so apparently I didn’t have it back then. Between him and the test there were 6 hookups (1 2 3 4 5 6) with 5 guys. I’m guessing it was the guy who likes anonymous, blindfolded gangbangs, just ’cause that’s the easiest way to get it, but who knows…

But that’s life… Coulda gotten chlamydia from a blowjob too, so it’s not like I’m going to feel bad about it or anything…

Nevertheless, it’s been a month or so since I got past the week when I wasn’t supposed to have sex, and I still haven’t had sex - so work really has a lot to do with it.

I’ve also had some occasional light pain in my left testicle since some time around the beginning of the year. I thought it might be epididymitis caused by the chlamydia, but that’s supposed to be really painful and what I have isn’t painful much at all. And if the Brazilian didn’t get anything from me then it’s probably unrelated and couldn’t be something that’s caused by something I didn’t have at the start of the year. I’ve seen the doctor about it once when it got a little worse a couple weeks ago. Since then it seems to be calming down a bit, so I’m not going to worry about it…

Things are starting to calm down work-wise, so I promise to start up my sex life again… Trust me, I miss seeding ass…

At long last, there is official recognition of serosorting as a way to stay neg - the San Francisco Department of Public Health (SF DPH) has launched a “Disclose HIV” campaign that encourages guys to know their status, talk about status with their sex partners, and stick to guys who have the same HIV status as they do. (read the full story in the Bay Area Reporter)

If you’ve been reading my blog for long you’ll know that this is exactly my approach to HIV prevention, so it’s nice to have some official validation.

Unbelievably, there are poz guys who don’t like the campaign…

As an HIV+ man I find it hard enough to get a date, whether it’s with someone who is poz or negative. The public still discriminates against those of us who are poz and this campaign is only going to encourage more discrimination. (from poz.com)

Oh please… The guy thinks his ability to go out on a date comes before the health of guys who are neg. I wish I could yell and scream directly in his face and tell him what a self-absorbed, pathetic loser he is…

As a neg guy who’s had a poz boyfriend (and stayed by his side until the day he died), let me put this very clearly… Poz guys need to date poz guys - or at least never assume they’re entitled to date neg guys…

If you’re poz and a neg guy decides to date you, great. But in my book it would also be reasonable for him to turn you down simply because your poz. Now, if you’re both neg and one of you becomes poz. Then it depends on the circumstances whether you should break up or stay together. But again, the neg guy always gets to pull that card where he says ‘no’ just because you’re poz. (Though once he knows the facts and commits to you, he should try to stick with you.)

But the bottom line is HIV negative guys have a right to protect their health. If people know their status and stick to other people of the same status HIV, the spread of HIV will slow dramatically.

And this is true for people who use condoms as well those of us who bareback, ’cause condoms aren’t as good as you might think at preventing HIV… It’s still unsafe sex, even if your poz top uses a condom…