Load 2010-6

Well, I finally got back in the saddle tonight… I was hoping to fuck this 24 y.o. but when I had to push back the time he said he couldn’t make it ’cause he was starting to crash from partying last night. (Guys – I may sound like Barbara Bush, but keep those drugs under control…)

So then I went on the hunt for another hole to fuck. I sorta wanted a hole I hadn’t fucked before, but when I e-mailed all the ones who were prospects and none of them panned out I saw the Brazilian come back online so I e-mailed him. It’s been 6 months since we last fucked (153 days to be exact). I like fucking him, but don’t always cum with him, so I was just hoping my horniness and the fact that I took a pill would be sufficient (it was).

He came over and we undressed and he started sucking my cock. Blowjobs often don’t do anything for me and this one was no exception. There was nothing wrong with it and he was enjoying it, so it wasn’t like I wanted it to stop. It was sorta cool actually how he’d keep pushing my dick as far back as possible and getting it into his throat. But let’s just say there was no risk of me cumming from his blowjob – but again, that’s just me, not him.

I know from past experience that he doesn’t like to be rimmed, so after the blowjob we went straight to fucking. I couldn’t find the Gun Oil so I grabbed my Wet Original (BTW, Wet has promised to send me some of their old-style oil based lube as well as their new silicone based Wet Platinum, but the package hasn’t arrived yet). I put a little on but after fucking him for a few minutes his hole still felt pretty dry even though he had prelubed before coming over and I had lubed my dick. I put some more lube on and that helped a bit.

We’ve fucked so many times he sorta knows what positions I like and he was on his belly. But lately I’ve been doing this thing where I turn myself at a 45 or 60 degree angle to give more friction to my dick. I think the reason I don’t always cum with him is ’cause my usual position doesn’t feel quite as good with his hole. But after turning a bit sideways and then turning back and being lined up with him I finally felt my load boiling up.

After nearly a month of not fucking anyone it felt good to give him my load. We then laid there and spooned a bit and talked with my dick up his ass. Eventually my dick got soft and came out. I knew he had moved but had a few of the detailed mixed up. Bottom line was that he’s been single for a while now. He mentioned how he had hooked up with the hardcore piss bottom I’ve fucked a few times before. And his observation was the same as mine – arriving for a hookup reeking of stale, musky piss isn’t a good thing… He also casually mentioned that he’d gotten fucked by someone in the neighborhood I know, which surprised me ’cause I didn’t think that guy was someone he’d have fucked with in the past, but he said since he’s been single he’s getting fucked by a broader range of guys.

I was starting to get my second wind and his hole was feeling mighty nice and wet. That combined with what he told me about being less selective about who fucked him gave me a hardon, so I started fucking him again. This time his hole felt SO much better. It was wet and cummy. I almost thought I could come a second time which is extremely rare for me. But alas I had jacked off the day before and there just wasn’t a second load in me. I stopped and we talked a little more while we spooned and I kept pumping his ass with my hard cock.

He left a little while later (we both had things we had to do). All in all a really nice hookup.

This teen contacted me a few weeks ago…

hi, sir. i dont know if you got my message on xtube. im the 18 yo bottom from san diego who sees himself as a total cumhole but doesnt really know where to begin. your blog is so fucking hot to me and i would be honored to take your load. if you want some pics for your own viewing pleasure just email me. i’m very slim and very cute and i know what kind of boys you like. i think im a good match for you

I got back to him with a few pointers on how to get loads – things like looking for sex parties, going to a bathhouses (and laying face down), and how to be assertive about getting dick but not aggressive. He then got back to me and (among other things) told me a little more about himself…

a little about me. hmm. well i’m a senior in hs, 18 years old, into some sports, movies, just having fun i guess. but i also have this other side of me which seems to be an insatiable cum whore haha. which is why i respect you so much and love your blog. i feel the need to be used in every sense of the word and have my hole stuffed and filled with sperm. the sheer idea of having a man’s sperm inside me drives me crazy because, in a way, it makes him a part of me and it makes me his subordinate because i’m taking his load. it’s like an act of submission. i’m saying all this because i think you understand…

At this point I wasn’t sure if he was actually taking loads or not. It sorta sounded like he was just fantasizing about it. So I sent him a message and asked how he was thinking about getting started…

well i’m already on adam4adam but i’m getting dozens of messages every 20 minutes. it’s kind of difficult for me to figure out how to go about setting things up with tops because i can’t possibly take all of their loads…not enough hours in the day haha. the thing is, i don’t want to be picky. i just want to be a cumdump. and i feel like part of being a sub cumhole is to not tell guys “no” because one looks better than the other. am i right or is that just a misconception?

I STILL wasn’t sure if he was taking loads so I asked directly and suggested that he try hosting so he could schedule a bunch of tops and get one load after another.

yeah, i have been taking loads from this guy who lives one freeway exit away from me. it’s convenient so i havent branched out yet really. that’s why i wanted to talk on IM. i’ve got some questions that you might be able to answer. is there such thing as a sub bottom who loves taking loads but just prefers the neg ones? i’m not looking to be pozzed by any means so i feel like i’m sort of a walking paradox.

At this point I figured he needed me to be pretty direct, so I told him…

basically, cumdump bottom = poz bottom… you’ll be really conflicted until you accept that… you can try serosorting, but it will fail eventually. serosorting sounds like a nice idea, but it just doesn’t work long term unless you’re the relationship type who really gets to know his tops and even then i can say from personal experience that you don’t really know what risks your tops are taking…

He got back to me and told me that “made sense” and that was sorta the last thing we discussed on the poz issue other than the fact that he mentioned he’s never been tested for HIV and doesn’t plan to get tested for a while.

A few days had gone past and I had been busy and hadn’t gotten back to him. So then he tell me how “his top” took him to a bathhouse that had a lot of older guys and took him into the sauna and fucked him raw in front of the guys who were there. He pulled out and let two anonymous tops fuck him no questions asked one after the other. They both unloaded in his ass and then “his top” gave him a 3rd load. So he got 3 loads in 20 minutes and two of those loads were from complete strangers. Pretty hot, eh?

At this point I knew the guy was pretty serious so I asked him if he’d be interested in doing a blog to record his journey. He’s at this critical stage where he’s making major decisions and experimenting. Luckily he was up for it. I checked and TeenCumhole.com was available so I bought it for him and set it up a few days later. One of the things I was thinking as I bought the domain for him was that when you give someone a label, they usually live up to it. Call someone smart or stupid or “hot” or ugly and that’s how they see themselves and they tend to live up to the labels other people give them. In this case I was giving him a label – Teen Cumhole – and I fully expect he’ll adopt it and become a full-fledged cumhole.

In the past week he’s branching out, going to the bathhouse on his own, finding other tops to hookup with. I get the sense that this is the beginning of his sex life and he’s not doing it timidly – he’s learning to swim by jumping in the deep end. Not bad for a guy who only turned 18 a few months ago…

Needless to say, make sure you check out his blog – TeenCumhole.com. Give him encouragement and if you’re in the San Diego area and want to give him a load, contact him and make it happen. Or better yet, organize a gangbang for him…

I woke up earlier than I wanted to on Sunday, but then tried to stay in bed and rest. When I did finally get up my bottom and I went to breakfast. It was better than the day before – the eggs weren’t runny and the hot food was actually hot (and it was free for me since I had bought the weekend pass).

When we got back to the room I thought it was odd that tops would come to the door hoping to fuck the bottom and he’d answer the door and say he wasn’t up for being fucked. His rib was still hurting from the rough fuck at the gangbang the prior day, but I got the sense that it was more than that.

Then he mentioned that the hot vers top jock who was at the gangbang wanted to come and “hang out” with us. He then mentioned that he had stayed up late IMing him and had been IMing in the morning as well. I could tell he was infatuated with him. Honestly, I think it’s great if a cumdump finds a gangbang top and falls in love. It’s sorta the perfect combination. Far better than meeting someone socially who’s going to freak out when they find out you like being an anonymous bareback gangbang bottom.

I said yes to the guy coming over, but I was apprehensive. There were a number of scenarios where it could work out great, and a few that would be a problem. It would have worked if he had come over, thrown the bottom on the bed, fucked him, and then spent the afternoon hunting for more tops to fuck the bottom. Or since he’s vers, maybe he’d spend the afternoon taking loads with my bottom – that would have been cool too… But there was something in the bottom’s eyes that worried me – love.

The guy came over and I was busy writing up the first blog post about Friday night. They laid on the bed and talked and sometimes would involve me in the discussion, but then things got more intense between them. They were kissing and cuddling and making out… Frankly, it was just the wrong time and place for that. I got to the end of my blog post and wondered what in the fuck I was supposed to do. It wasn’t comfortable sitting in the chair and I really wanted to be doing some filming – that was one of my primary objectives for the weekend and I hadn’t done any of it yet.

There was an older bottom online who wanted to come over and was up for being videotaped. I pushed him off a bit thinking I’d give the two love birds time to finish what they started, but when the bottom showed up they were taking things so slow they had just gotten naked and were getting ready to fuck. The trick took off his clothes and the two of them on the bed suddenly realized that it wasn’t just about the two of them any more. “My bottom” (I’m using those words loosely) asked “Should we leave” and I just said “Yeah”. I was fuming by this point because things had gotten so awkward. They got their clothes on while I got the camera and lights ready and then they left.

I had an interesting hookup with the trick in which I fisted him. It was my first time fisting and I got totally boned doing it – but I’ll save that for a separate blog post.

When the trick was gone I texted “my bottom” and told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was eating and got there like 30 minutes later. We had what I thought was a really good, honest talk. A lot of issues came out and I thought everything was back on track by the end of it.

A little after we were done talking this young sub texted me. He’d been wanting to hookup for a while and it just hadn’t happened, and he was interested in having sex with both me and “my bottom” even though he swore he was neg and he knew “my bottom” was a cum dump.

“My bottom” started cleaning up a bit (said it was in preparation for the gangbang), and then the young sub bottom showed up. He liked being a puppy and started nuzzling his head on my belly and getting me to pet him. He was really sweet and while he wasn’t very verbal, he did a fair amount of non-verbal communication (“my bottom” could have learned a lot from the kid). The young sub started sucking my dick and I got “my bottom” to come over and the puppy seemed really excited to service him.

I got behind the puppy and he pulled down his pants and exposed his hole for me. Then he took off his pants and shoes completely as it got more serious. I fucked him a bit, but the position was a little awkward. I knew the perfect position would be doggy style (how appropriate) with the puppy on all fours, one of us behind and one of us on his knees in front. So I got up and figured I’d switch with “my bottom”. I got on my knees and got the puppy on all fours and “my bottom” started to fuck him. It seemed like just a minute or two later when “my bottom” announced he was really close and about to blow his load. I just asked “so you’re going to lube his hole for me?”, and then he blew his load up the puppy’s ass. [The sub bottom knew it was happening, knew he was about to take a load from a cumhole bottom and didn't do anything to say or indicate 'no'.]

Then “my bottom” went back to cleaning up the room as I fucked the puppy’s now cummy hole. At least that’s what I thought he was doing.

I was having a great time with the puppy – I loved how submissive he was. I had put a collar on him early on, and then he picked a hood and put that on (he LOVED hoods). I fucked him for quite a while but never did cum. The odd part was that he seemed a little hesitant to take my (neg) load, even though he had been fine taking “my bottom’s” poz load. When I had him on his back he’d stiffen his legs which made it difficult to really fuck him. It’s not like that’s puppy play – if you’ve ever seen a dog roll on his back and be submissive their legs are never straight.

We had a good session that was really tender and intimate. I loved how tactile he was to the point where I’d really love to do more puppy play (hint, hint to any of you in the NY area who identify as puppies).

I tried to get “my bottom” to get back into the play, but he resisted. I suggested having the puppy rim his hole (dogs like ass, right?), but he wasn’t even willing to do that.

As we were winding up “my bottom” left and said he was going downstairs for a drink or something. I was still concentrating on the puppy and didn’t really think twice about it. I asked him to do final approvals for the gangbang and send out the final e-mail with details, which he did before he left.

The puppy took off his hood which was his non-verbal signal that he was done. I took off his collar releasing him and he got ready and went. He had told me that the load he got from “my bottom” was his first one at MAL. I asked him how MAL was going for him and he said something like “it’s going great now” and then rubbed his head in my lap. I was seriously falling for the pup… He said he’d try to come to the gangbang. He’d mentioned hed’ be up for it previously as long as he was hooded since he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

Then he left and I went and had dinner and a beer with Jayson Park. (Actually, he didn’t have dinner – just drank a beer while he watched me eat).

Then I went back up to the room to prep for the gangbang and “my bottom” wasn’t back and he hadn’t responded to a couple of text messages I had sent. Then about 30 minutes before the gangbang was supposed to start I noticed that his stuff was missing. While I had been fucking the puppy he had packed up and left. How he could sit there and do the final approvals and sent out the confirmation for the gangbang when he knew he was leaving is beyond me.

Later I found he had sent me an e-mail after he left…

On my way back to NYC via train. I just needed to leave…

Thanks for letting me join you this weekend.  Had a blast.

That e-mail sorta sums up his contradictions. He had a great time, but he had to leave without saying anything.

There’s so much I could say about him, but it would all be conjecture. I really don’t feel like I understand him much at all. I know deep down he’s a good guy, but he seems horribly conflicted. I’ve seen his personal Facebook page and in his profile pic he’s this completely normal, happy regular gay guy. But then he likes to get gangbanged, but then he also seems to have issues with getting gangbanged. He seems like he’s got a lot to work out, and I hope for his sake he gets to the bottom of it all.

With everything that had already happened that day I wasn’t really looking forward to the gangbang anyway. I knew Jayson was headed off drinking for the evening so after sending out a cancellation notice on BBRT, I called him up and we went out to the Eagle and then to the Reaction dance party later that night (but that’s another blog post).

And a couple postscripts to this post…

First, when it was done the day was actually a good day. I fisted someone for the first time, and found I really love playing with puppies, and Jayson and I had fun when we went out and a good fuck when we got back. So yeah, there was drama, but the sum total of the day was really good.

Second, the sub bottom texted me later and asked what “my bottom’s” HIV status was. Silly boy. I reiterated what I told him before – that the guy had taken 15 loads so far during the weekend and then later told him the load was “undetectable” but that if he was concerned he should be more careful and tell his limits to his tops. Personally, I think the sub bottom is doing a weird form of bug chasing where he puts himself in situations where he will take poz cum, but he does it in a way which is completely submissive so it’s done to him rather than him actively doing it – which sorta fits with his submissiveness. From my perspective I knew “my bottom” was on meds so there was almost a zero chance the sub bottom would get pozzed.

Load 2009-31

Admittedly, I haven’t been doing very well in the fucking department. Lots of distractions – really busy with work, plus the whole real estate thing – trying to find another place to live… There is progress on the real estate front, but nothing is finalized yet – so more on that later.

In the last month I’ve fucked 3 guys a total of 4 times and two of those were today and yesterday, so things have been really slow. The one yesterday I got a video of, so I need to do some video editing on that before I write it up.

Today I did another quickie with the Italian daddy who comes over on a pretty regular basis. It was sorta funny ’cause I still had the lights all set up from shooting the video yesterday, but he didn’t even notice them (or at least didn’t say anything). I mean they’re big professional lights – I’m not sure how you could miss them…

He started with a blowjob and unfortunately it was another one of his toothy blowjobs that get to be a bit painful after a while. I was pretty horny and the partial pill I took yesterday was still doing it’s job, so the bad blowjob didn’t really ruin it for me or anything, but after a little while I went and got the lube and then just fucked him.

It’s gotten pretty routine with him – I put him on his belly and pound him until I cum. This time he pushed his ass up a bit in the middle of fucking him. Normally that can be problematic with a lot of bottoms, but it worked and his ass felt really great and it wasn’t long before I blew my load up his hole.

He asked if he could suck my cock and he cleaned it off really well and I thought he was going to jack off, but he stopped and that was sorta the end of it.

I did ask him how long he knew he liked to get fucked. Turns out he’s always known even though “Catholic guilt” resulted in him getting married and having kids and only recently really coming out and being gay. For such a total bottom it’s surprising he’d wait so long… Next time I’ll ask him how much sex he had with guys when he was married…

Load 2009-29

The other day I wasn’t really feeling like I was in the mood to hookup, but I was sorta horny and figured I could cum if I tried. I didn’t really want to have someone come over only to have it not go well, so when my Italian daddy fuck buddy e-mailed me I figured he’d be perfect. After all he made a huge shitty mess of my bathroom last time, so he owes me…

I e-mail back and as usual, he’s at my place a half hour later. He’s so eager and dependable – there’s something to be said for that… I take him to the bedroom, we take off our clothes (I leave my shirt on), and he starts sucking my dick. Thing was the blowjob just wasn’t doing it for me, so I had him get on all fours on the bed and I ate him out. Rimming his ass wasn’t really what I was in the mood for either, but it got me harder than the blowjob…

As soon as I was hard enough to fuck I lubed up my dick and shoved in. He was really just there so I could dump my load and I came a few minutes later. I felt just a little guilty it was such a quick fuck, so we laid there and I felt his furry muscular pecs while he jacked off. It took him no time to cum.

We talked a little bit – mostly while he was putting on his clothes. The poor guy has been unemployed for over a year. Frankly, this is the age of the Internet – there’s no excuse for not working in some manner – sell something on eBay, start a blog – do something… Still he’s a generation older than me and not as Internet savvy as I am…

He was out the door about 15 minutes after he got there… But he’s perfectly happy being a pump-and-dump hole for me, and I’m glad he likes it – ’cause that’s my mood sometimes.

Load 2009-28

Not sure what it is with all the neg bottoms hitting me up, but another one hit me up on Adam4Adam the other day. They almost never discuss HIV status, they just come over, get fucked, and take a load. I’m guessing a lot of them are actually poz, but even one who did ask me about my status before we fucked pretty quickly went to taking all loads after that and not saying anything about HIV status in his profile. Frankly, I think pretty much all sexually active bareback bottoms (and versatile guys) will become poz after not too long – taking loads is a lot like pledging a fraternity, but what’s with so many poz bottoms saying they’re neg?

This guy lived nearby, so he came over. His pictures made him look a bit rough/unfriendly, and honestly he sorta matched his pics (unfortunate genetics), though when he got to talking he was a sweet guy.

I had him start by giving me a blowjob and he was definitely an experienced cocksucker. Great blowjob and he sorta whimpered as was sucking dick. He totally got off on it. Well, he did and he didn’t ’cause the whole time he was with me his dick never got hard – not even got a serious chubbie.

As he was sucking my dick I had to think non-erotic thoughts ’cause I didn’t want to cum that way or even get close. I let him suck for a while ’cause he was really enjoying it and then I put him on the bed to fuck him. It felt good fucking his hole and the whimpering and moaning continued. It was clear he absolutely LOVED bottoming, and he was just my type too – short, Latin, lean body…

It wasn’t long before I came in his ass, but I could tell he wanted more, so I just slowly fucked him. Provided I take a part of a pill before I can usually keep fucking. My dick was really sensitive, so I had to take it slow, but the pill had done it’s job and I slow fucked him for another 10 or 15 minutes.

By the end we were laying on our sides spooning with my dick slowly pumping his hole. He kept mentioning how I wasn’t anything like what he thought I’d be – that I was a lot more affectionate. I think he assumed I was just going to treat him like a piece of meat and throw him out the door after a quickie pump-and-dump. I’m perfectly OK doing that, but I could tell he wanted more. Funny that he would have been OK with an impersonal fuck.

Problem was my affection was just me being “in the moment”. There was a point when I was done and I then had to figure out how to get him out of my bed without completely ruining everything. I sat up in bed and gradually moved a bit further away from him until he suggested it was time to go.

Weird part was he went to wash up and asked for a washcloth. When I didn’t have one to give him he then wanted paper towels. I’m not sure how much cleaning up he was doing – never had anyone do such a thorough cleaning before.