I woke up earlier than I wanted to on Sunday, but then tried to stay in bed and rest. When I did finally get up my bottom and I went to breakfast. It was better than the day before – the eggs weren’t runny and the hot food was actually hot (and it was free for me since I had bought the weekend pass).

When we got back to the room I thought it was odd that tops would come to the door hoping to fuck the bottom and he’d answer the door and say he wasn’t up for being fucked. His rib was still hurting from the rough fuck at the gangbang the prior day, but I got the sense that it was more than that.

Then he mentioned that the hot vers top jock who was at the gangbang wanted to come and “hang out” with us. He then mentioned that he had stayed up late IMing him and had been IMing in the morning as well. I could tell he was infatuated with him. Honestly, I think it’s great if a cumdump finds a gangbang top and falls in love. It’s sorta the perfect combination. Far better than meeting someone socially who’s going to freak out when they find out you like being an anonymous bareback gangbang bottom.

I said yes to the guy coming over, but I was apprehensive. There were a number of scenarios where it could work out great, and a few that would be a problem. It would have worked if he had come over, thrown the bottom on the bed, fucked him, and then spent the afternoon hunting for more tops to fuck the bottom. Or since he’s vers, maybe he’d spend the afternoon taking loads with my bottom – that would have been cool too… But there was something in the bottom’s eyes that worried me – love.

The guy came over and I was busy writing up the first blog post about Friday night. They laid on the bed and talked and sometimes would involve me in the discussion, but then things got more intense between them. They were kissing and cuddling and making out… Frankly, it was just the wrong time and place for that. I got to the end of my blog post and wondered what in the fuck I was supposed to do. It wasn’t comfortable sitting in the chair and I really wanted to be doing some filming – that was one of my primary objectives for the weekend and I hadn’t done any of it yet.

There was an older bottom online who wanted to come over and was up for being videotaped. I pushed him off a bit thinking I’d give the two love birds time to finish what they started, but when the bottom showed up they were taking things so slow they had just gotten naked and were getting ready to fuck. The trick took off his clothes and the two of them on the bed suddenly realized that it wasn’t just about the two of them any more. “My bottom” (I’m using those words loosely) asked “Should we leave” and I just said “Yeah”. I was fuming by this point because things had gotten so awkward. They got their clothes on while I got the camera and lights ready and then they left.

I had an interesting hookup with the trick in which I fisted him. It was my first time fisting and I got totally boned doing it – but I’ll save that for a separate blog post.

When the trick was gone I texted “my bottom” and told him I wanted to talk face to face. He was eating and got there like 30 minutes later. We had what I thought was a really good, honest talk. A lot of issues came out and I thought everything was back on track by the end of it.

A little after we were done talking this young sub texted me. He’d been wanting to hookup for a while and it just hadn’t happened, and he was interested in having sex with both me and “my bottom” even though he swore he was neg and he knew “my bottom” was a cum dump.

“My bottom” started cleaning up a bit (said it was in preparation for the gangbang), and then the young sub bottom showed up. He liked being a puppy and started nuzzling his head on my belly and getting me to pet him. He was really sweet and while he wasn’t very verbal, he did a fair amount of non-verbal communication (“my bottom” could have learned a lot from the kid). The young sub started sucking my dick and I got “my bottom” to come over and the puppy seemed really excited to service him.

I got behind the puppy and he pulled down his pants and exposed his hole for me. Then he took off his pants and shoes completely as it got more serious. I fucked him a bit, but the position was a little awkward. I knew the perfect position would be doggy style (how appropriate) with the puppy on all fours, one of us behind and one of us on his knees in front. So I got up and figured I’d switch with “my bottom”. I got on my knees and got the puppy on all fours and “my bottom” started to fuck him. It seemed like just a minute or two later when “my bottom” announced he was really close and about to blow his load. I just asked “so you’re going to lube his hole for me?”, and then he blew his load up the puppy’s ass. [The sub bottom knew it was happening, knew he was about to take a load from a cumhole bottom and didn't do anything to say or indicate 'no'.]

Then “my bottom” went back to cleaning up the room as I fucked the puppy’s now cummy hole. At least that’s what I thought he was doing.

I was having a great time with the puppy – I loved how submissive he was. I had put a collar on him early on, and then he picked a hood and put that on (he LOVED hoods). I fucked him for quite a while but never did cum. The odd part was that he seemed a little hesitant to take my (neg) load, even though he had been fine taking “my bottom’s” poz load. When I had him on his back he’d stiffen his legs which made it difficult to really fuck him. It’s not like that’s puppy play – if you’ve ever seen a dog roll on his back and be submissive their legs are never straight.

We had a good session that was really tender and intimate. I loved how tactile he was to the point where I’d really love to do more puppy play (hint, hint to any of you in the NY area who identify as puppies).

I tried to get “my bottom” to get back into the play, but he resisted. I suggested having the puppy rim his hole (dogs like ass, right?), but he wasn’t even willing to do that.

As we were winding up “my bottom” left and said he was going downstairs for a drink or something. I was still concentrating on the puppy and didn’t really think twice about it. I asked him to do final approvals for the gangbang and send out the final e-mail with details, which he did before he left.

The puppy took off his hood which was his non-verbal signal that he was done. I took off his collar releasing him and he got ready and went. He had told me that the load he got from “my bottom” was his first one at MAL. I asked him how MAL was going for him and he said something like “it’s going great now” and then rubbed his head in my lap. I was seriously falling for the pup… He said he’d try to come to the gangbang. He’d mentioned hed’ be up for it previously as long as he was hooded since he didn’t want anyone to recognize him.

Then he left and I went and had dinner and a beer with Jayson Park. (Actually, he didn’t have dinner – just drank a beer while he watched me eat).

Then I went back up to the room to prep for the gangbang and “my bottom” wasn’t back and he hadn’t responded to a couple of text messages I had sent. Then about 30 minutes before the gangbang was supposed to start I noticed that his stuff was missing. While I had been fucking the puppy he had packed up and left. How he could sit there and do the final approvals and sent out the confirmation for the gangbang when he knew he was leaving is beyond me.

Later I found he had sent me an e-mail after he left…

On my way back to NYC via train. I just needed to leave…

Thanks for letting me join you this weekend.  Had a blast.

That e-mail sorta sums up his contradictions. He had a great time, but he had to leave without saying anything.

There’s so much I could say about him, but it would all be conjecture. I really don’t feel like I understand him much at all. I know deep down he’s a good guy, but he seems horribly conflicted. I’ve seen his personal Facebook page and in his profile pic he’s this completely normal, happy regular gay guy. But then he likes to get gangbanged, but then he also seems to have issues with getting gangbanged. He seems like he’s got a lot to work out, and I hope for his sake he gets to the bottom of it all.

With everything that had already happened that day I wasn’t really looking forward to the gangbang anyway. I knew Jayson was headed off drinking for the evening so after sending out a cancellation notice on BBRT, I called him up and we went out to the Eagle and then to the Reaction dance party later that night (but that’s another blog post).

And a couple postscripts to this post…

First, when it was done the day was actually a good day. I fisted someone for the first time, and found I really love playing with puppies, and Jayson and I had fun when we went out and a good fuck when we got back. So yeah, there was drama, but the sum total of the day was really good.

Second, the sub bottom texted me later and asked what “my bottom’s” HIV status was. Silly boy. I reiterated what I told him before – that the guy had taken 15 loads so far during the weekend and then later told him the load was “undetectable” but that if he was concerned he should be more careful and tell his limits to his tops. Personally, I think the sub bottom is doing a weird form of bug chasing where he puts himself in situations where he will take poz cum, but he does it in a way which is completely submissive so it’s done to him rather than him actively doing it – which sorta fits with his submissiveness. From my perspective I knew “my bottom” was on meds so there was almost a zero chance the sub bottom would get pozzed.

This guy came over last night. I’ve fucked him a couple times before. He’s very close to where I live and is a total sub bottom. He even gets into me degrading him and treating him like a piece of meat. I wasn’t 100% horny, so I figured if it didn’t go well at least he didn’t travel far.

He comes over, we head to the bedroom, and just as we get there my real estate broker calls. I answered my phone as the guy was taking off his clothes. While I’m talking to her he gets naked and I get my pants down and I have him suck my dick while I’m talking on the phone. The news wasn’t great – we got an offer turned down and it was as high as we were going to go on that property. So it wasn’t making me think horny thoughts, but I kept him on my dick even though I wasn’t hard.

Once I got off the phone I had to get back in the mood and nothing gets me in the mood faster than rimming a clean hole. So I put him on the bed, put his legs up and started eating him out. Mind you, there’s no real conversation – he’s just a piece of meat to me.

When I’m hard I lube up my dick and stick it in. He says he’s tight and squirms around. We reposition with him on his belly, but his hole is too far from the top of his ass to fuck comfortably. So I put a pillow under his waist and get back to fucking him. It was probably a minute or two later that he says something about slowing down and not cumming. I didn’t hear it clearly and thought he was playing the same “don’t cum in my ass” game he pulled the first time I fucked him. So I kept on fucking him how I wanted.

But then less than a minute later he stops things and says he’s cum. The comment I didn’t fully hear was about him cumming – not me. Problem was he couldn’t keep getting fucked after cumming, so that sorta ended it. I then realized he’d cum all over my pillow, not the towel I had down. Oh well.

Well, I guess it’s good I can fuck the cum out of someone, but I don’t like the fact that I didn’t cum.

This past Monday I was pretty horny and kept looking at the hookup sites during the day. One of the guys who works for me (porn name Brad Ramsey – he’s only done photos so far – no video) was over and I figured I’d hookup after he left for the day. I took part of a pill and the funny part was my boyfriend told me I looked flushed and asked if I were hot. I didn’t want to discuss the fact that I was planning on hooking up in front of Brad, so I just brushed off the comment.

One of the guys who was looking to hookup was the guy who had 3 tops over and then came before the tops got off. I wouldn’t have really bothered with him except for the fact that Brad told me a while back that the guy was one of his friends/fuck buds, so I figured maybe we could do a 3way… I first checked with the bottom and he seemed up for it – sorta maybe. I’ll sorta cut to the chase and say he was non-committal and seemed a bit flakey. But then I asked Brad about it and long story short he convinced the guy to come over. (By this time my bf had left for work).

The bottom arrived and for reasons I won’t go into I figured we’d hookup in the bedroom we use as an office. There’s no bed there, so I went and got a towel, poppers and lube so we could do it on the floor… Brad stripped down and I was surprised – he had a THICK cock. The two of them were totally into each other – you could tell they liked each other and had good sexual chemistry. I figured I’d concentrate on the bottom’s ass, so I rimmed him a bit.

When I was hard and he was wet I lubed up some more and started fucking him. I did notice that he jacked his cock constantly and I was worried there would be a repeat of last time where he would come before we would and that would be the end of it. But I figured Brad knew him well enough to prevent that, so I didn’t say anything.

Then we swapped and Brad fucked him. Then someone suggested he get double fucked. So I laid on my back, the bottom sat on my dick, and then Brad got behind him and pushed in. I swear the bottom was really irritating me by this point. He didn’t seem to understand the fact that if he went forward I’d pull out of his ass. I had to push back on his hips with all my might to keep my dick in him.

Meanwhile he’s jacking his dick and then he cums and wants it to stop! Brad and I looked at each other with this “you gotta be kidding” sort of expressions on our face. But that was it.

Needless to say, there won’t be a 3rd time with that bottom. I might make an exception if Brad presents the bottom with his hands tied in a way that he can’t jack off, but seriously – I’m so over fucking him. He’s literally oblivious to the fact that the top needs to enjoy the hookup as well.

So that was over and everyone left and I was looking for someone to fuck. I didn’t really feel like traveling – at least not very far. Eventually a guy wanted to hookup who I’d hooked up with a few times before. He’s an interesting case… I won’t go into that much detail but lets just say there are things about our lives that are similar to the point that I even introduced him to my bf earlier this year and then we ran into him again later. I should also mention that thanks to the fact that there’s way too much information about people online I’m pretty sure the downturn in the economy has hit him pretty hard.

So I go down to his place, but by this time I haven’t eaten enough and I’m starting to get a little headachey. On top of that I left quickly and forgot to bring my cockring. It wouldn’t have been an issue a hour or two before, but the bottom line was I wasn’t 100% “there”…

I show up and there’s basically no chit-chat, even though we now know each other on more than a sexual level. That’s fine – figured he wanted to stick to sex. I take off all but my shirt and socks and start eating out his ass. I gotta say his hole was sweet. Frankly a lot better than the other bottom from earlier that evening. I was enjoying myself, so I took my time. Eventually I was ready to fuck and I got him up on the bed and started fucking him.

The blow by blow isn’t as interesting as the fact that the whole time we were having sex he avoided looking at me – even when we were face to face and he was riding my cock. It didn’t take long to realize he just wanted to get fucked. He probably would have preferred someone random anonymous top who he’d never met and would never see again. I gave him a pretty good fuck, but he needed a lot more and a lot harder fuck than I was up for.

The room was warm and I was literally dripping with sweat. After I got his bed all wet at one point by laying on it I was a bit self-conscious and didn’t want to keep getting his bed wet with sweat. The little things I’d do that were a bit tender he never responded to. All he responded to was getting fucked and used like a hole. All in all the chemistry got to the point where it was just off, so I wrapped things up and left. For a variety of reasons I never did cum…

So yeah, it was a bit of a bummer of an evening, but that just is what it is. There’s been a lot on my mind lately. It looks like we’re going to be moving in a month – and all the decisions around that are really distracting. I’m not sure we can afford to buy what we’d really like and we’re not sure about the compromises in what we can afford. It’s a major decision and pretty complicated with no clear choices. On top of everything else, it looks like we’ll be in a rental for a while between places and I’m not looking forward to moving twice or living in a rental I don’t really like.

So this past Thursday I had a ton of porn stuff to do – a minimum of 8 blog posts (times two, since I post each of them in two different places). I was trying not to get stressed about it like I usually do and it was generally a pretty good day. But working on porn all day does get you horny and I kept jacking my dick throughout the day.

A guy messaged had me on one of the hookup sites and I told him I’d be available after work. He was in the neighborhood so long story short I texted him and he said he had another top coming over – did I want to join in? I figured, why not. So I headed over. By the time I got there he said the first top (who he’d described as cute, 25, and hung) had just left, but another top (big, beefy and older – sorta like me) had arrived just before me (I saw him going in the door as I was trying to figure out what buzzer to ring). So, according to him he’d just gotten fucked and taken a load, and now he had two more tops to fuck him. Busy boy…

The bottom was pretty hot – nice body, pretty lean, cute bearded face, and generally seemed like a nice guy. The other top had a big, thick cock that looked like a phenomenal fuck stick. Since he was in the neighborhood and I didn’t have 45 minutes to let a pill do it’s magic, I hadn’t taken one. Since I had been hard most of the day I didn’t think it would be an issue. But the other top’s unfailing big hard dick did put mine to shame a bit… I got hard and had no problems performing, but it came and went depending on what was going on…

While the bottom was giving a blowjob to the first top I figured I’d rim him. Got down there and he had a nice ass. It was a little unusual in that he had what I’d described as a swollen bit of skin – sorta like a huge skin tag that was full. It was the same color as everything else – so in some ways it looked like it might be normal for him, but I wasn’t sure… More on that later…

Anyway, he had me fuck him first which I did for a little while and then the other top took over. Problem was I never could get in a comfortable position – he liked to get fucked on all fours and his ass always seemed to be in the wrong place to fuck comfortably. And he wasn’t really getting the fact that I was having a difficult time due to the position.

As the other top was fucking him he was jacking off and then all of a sudden he came and wanted things to stop. Thought it was a bit weird, but whatever… I mean neither of us had even come close to cumming. We took a break and the other top and I swapped blowjobs and jacked each other’s dick. But the uncertain prospect of fucking the bottom again didn’t help my hardon.

Then the bottom came back into the room and after a bit he was up for getting fucked again. It was pretty much a repeat of last time only for a little while I did get him sorta on his belly in a slightly more comfortable position. Then the other top fucked him and once again the bottom came while getting fucked and everything stopped. Then he said he wasn’t really up for getting fucked any more… The other top jacked off on the bottom’s chest. The bottom didn’t even want it in his mouth. I licked some up (it was watery). It was like I was more into cum than the bottom. Needless to say, if he wasn’t willing to take my load up his ass, he wasn’t going to get it jacked onto his chest.

I got dressed and left and wondered what in the hell just happened. Most bottoms who have three bareback tops over want at least three loads up their ass. I didn’t see the first top and didn’t taste his load when I was rimming the bottom – so I can’t say one way or the other whether he actually was ever there. But it was like the bottom got titillated by the prospect of having a bunch of tops fuck him raw, but had strategies to make sure he didn’t actually get cum in his ass. Or maybe the “thing” by his hole was a hemorrhoid and it was really painful for him to get fucked. But he wasn’t exactly squealing in pain – getting fucked made him horny and got him to cum.

Either way – why in the hell did he hookup with three tops if he didn’t really want to get fucked that much? One top would have been more than sufficient.

He was a hot bottom physically and his hole seemed like it had potential if I could just get him in a good position. The other top was a distraction though… Since he’s in the neighborhood and easy to hookup with and could work out to be a good fuck buddy if the circumstances were different, I think I will try fucking him again – but just 1-on-1 this time and once I’m in him I’m not pulling out till my load’s up his hole. And with him on his belly he won’t be able to jack his dick and cum and stop things prematurely…

OK, I seriously apologize – I’m way behind on my fuck posts. There are now 3 guys I’ve fucked and filmed that I haven’t written up. I just haven’t had time to edit the videos. Then there’s a jackoff video my bf shot as a test of our new HD camera that I want to put up as well…

So in addition to the three videotaped fucks, yesterday I fucked porn star Jayson Park. If I have my facts right he started doing porn last November and after an initial taste I think he’s gotten bit by the porn bug and it seems like every time I talk to him he’s off doing porn somewhere. I don’t know everything he’s done, but I do know he’s been in videos for HDK (including “Backroom Bareback”), and Treasure Island (including “Bone Deep” – the TIM video that sold the most initial copies – where he’s called Jason Park), and Factory Video (including a “Private Cumhole” – where he’s on the cover).

Anyway, we’ve been trying for a while to hookup. Initially it didn’t look like it was going work because his general availability conflicted with mine. Then we got more serious about it and we started discussing me videotaping him and it got more serious, but kept getting pushed off. Finally we figured out we had time for a quick fuck yesterday followed by a quick drink at a bar.

Time came and I was supposed to leave but didn’t have his address. For a while there I thought I wasn’t going to be able to hookup with him, but then at the last minute he gave me his address. I wanted to prep a bit better, but all I had time for was downing part of a pill, throwing on some white boot socks (he’s got a serious white sock fetish), washing off my dick, and brushing my teeth.

I get there and he answers the door stark naked (except for some white socks, of course). I was thinking something along the lines of JACKPOT! Jayson is mixed race Asian (Asian + white). Frankly, that mix sometimes doesn’t come out right, but with him he got the best of both… He’s got an incredibly hot body that’s much hotter than his pics (which are hot). He’s really lean, but muscular at the same time. Great ass, a little hair in all he right places, and a killer smile. He had a big grin on his face as well. Said I was better than my pics. (He’s not the first to say that – I think I need better pics…)

We go to his home office where there’s a futon and we start making out, kissing, he sucks my dick… There is really great chemistry with him. Pretty quickly the term “boyfriend material” pops into my head. If I were single and he were looking and interested I think I’d wind up dating him… I mean a hot little cumhole boyfriend who who’d constantly be getting other guys’ loads in him I could use for lube… Who wouldn’t want that? Thing is he seems pretty committed to his boyfriend, and I have mine…

[Though I should mention I've been thinking about my relationship a lot lately. We're in contract to sell our apartment - if it goes through it would be the first time in 11 years when property ownership wouldn't be a complicating factor in breaking up with him. There were times in the past where if it hadn't been a huge hassle to break up with him I probably would have. Still, that said, I've thought about it and have no plans to break up. There's so much that works in our relationship and my bf is a really special guy. But still, meeting hot little (quality) cum hungry bottoms like Jayson does make me think about my options...]

Getting back to the fuck… It’s not long before his ass is up and I’m eating it out. He had a perfectly clean hole – was great to rim. About the only thing that would have been better would have been if I had tasted some other guy’s load when I was sucking on his ass…

He sucks my dick some more, we make out some more (we actually kiss a lot) and before long his legs are up and my dick is in his hole. God, it was an awesome hole – perfectly silky (probably due to the silicon lube). So he’s legs up my dick in his ass and I keep leaning in to kiss him while I fuck him. It was good…

I turned him over at one point, but given that his futon was in couch mode it was a little awkward fucking him on his belly. We switched up fucking him in a bunch of different positions, absolutely every time I pulled out he wanted to suck my dick and clean his ass juices off my dick – that’s called “Ass-To-Mouth” or ATM and I’ve never had a bottom be that into it… Guess he’s just a little “ATM machine”

The fucking went on for a while it just didn’t feel like I could cum. Wasn’t his fault. The day before I had been working on the porn blogs and jacked off 2 or 3 times. Guess I shouldn’t have done that. But it was still a great fuck. I seriously could fuck him all day… But after a while we were pushing the time when his boyfriend would be home, so we wrapped things up.

We got dressed and went out for a drink at The Saloon on 9th Ave in Hell’s Kitchen. It was one of the first gay bars I went to when I came to New York in 1990 (back when it was called Cleo’s Saloon). Back then the RA in my dorm took me there ’cause it was the neighborhood bar. It had a pretty homely crowd back then and nothing has changed, but we weren’t there to pick up tricks (already did that). We had a beer, tried to talk about the porn business over the too-loud music, but then I had to leave to go downtown to have dinner with my boyfriend and some extended family.

Hopefully we’ll hookup again soon and I’d love to figure out a way to shoot some porn with him – but we gotta work out the details (money, etc.) – he’s a bit more professional than I’m ready to pay for at this point…

Sunday morning I was horny and hadn’t cum in two days. I really wanted to videotape something so I was giving a preference to guys who said they’d be up for it. A guy responded, his pics weren’t all that great, but I told him to come over. When he got there unfortunately his pics weren’t all that far off the mark. I knew pretty quickly I just wasn’t that into him and he wasn’t going to be the one getting my 2 day load, and I didn’t even want to videotape it…

I did fuck him. On a certain level he was a nice guy and an eager bottom. Thanks to pills I didn’t have a problem with an erection and his hole did feel good and I could have cum if I had wanted to, but I held back.

Was it bad sex? Not really. It was IML and he was just another hole. He just wasn’t who I wanted to give my load to.