I was sorta horny, sorta not today, but when this black guy with a hot body contacted me and he wasn’t that far away, I figured what the hell… His profile said “Neg, Safe Sex Only” and then repeated something about “safe fun” in his profile. That’s usually a warning sign to me that something’s going to go wrong, but he was hot, close by and easy to hookup with, so I asked if he was OK with bareback and when he responded with his address and phone number, I just went with it…

I took part of a pill, cleaned up and got ready, and walked over. It was a long walk, but it was perfect weather, so it was nice… When I got there he really was pretty hot. A perfect body, really dark skin that was a complete contrast to my pale skin, and he had very masculine qualities combined with pretty bottomy/sub/fem qualities and I sorta liked the weird mixture of it all…

We got naked and I was damp with perspiration - not sure if it was from walking over, the temperature of the apartment, or the pill making me flush and warm. He gave me this incredible blowjob and spent a lot of time on his knees servicing my dick and balls. He was definitely pretty submissive. But one thing I’ve noticed is that guys who don’t want to take loads in their ass try to make up for it with oral sex. I was starting to wonder…

We took a quick break and he ran into the living room and rummaged around and came back with some stuff. He apologized and said he didn’t have lube - would Vasiline be OK? Needless to say, it was fine with me - in fact things were sorta looking up at that point. He blew me some more and then lubed up his ass with Vaseline, but before he sat on my dick he pulled out a condom and opened it up. I think he saw the look in my face and said “you don’t like condoms?” I said “no” (of course) and he just tossed it aside and resumed sitting on my dick.

We fucked with him riding me, then with him on his back (half off the mattress he had on the floor), but he kept checking my balls when I was fucking him. I knew exactly what he was doing - he was checking to see when my balls pulled up so he could get me out of him before I blew my load. Thing was it was sorta the wrong position for me, so I wasn’t close to cumming.

When I pulled out there was a little smell and some shit on my dick (what is it with bottoms not getting clean these days?) So we took a break and I went into the bathroom to clean off my dick. Thing was he didn’t seem to have any soap and if you’ve ever tried to clean a dick with Vaseline with no soap you’ll know it’s not easy, but I got it as clean as I could.

He asked me how he could get me to cum and I said I didn’t know. He gave me another blowjob while I was standing up, then had me lay down and continued on. The blowjob went on for a while and his oral skills were really pretty good. Thing was I wasn’t completely hard ’cause I was realizing there was a good chance I wasn’t going to get my load in his ass. But he seemed completely content to suck on my dick and balls even if I wasn’t totally hard. And he was really cute down there

Then we laid down next to each other, and one thing led to another and soon I had him with his legs over his head and my raw dick back up his ass. At first he was jacking off furiously, then he relaxed and just let me fuck him.

I really wanted him on his belly, so I flipped him over and continued fucking him. This is when it felt the best and I really felt I could cum. But he kept acting like it was hurting him and wanted me to slow down. I could sorta tell he was just trying to avoid getting my cum in his ass. I tried my hardest to cum without going too fast, but the fact of the matter was I needed to just pound him for a little while to cum, but he wasn’t letting it get to that point.

Then he suggested we change positions and he rode my dick again (with his back toward me). He jacked off riding my dick until he came and then left my dick up his butt while he came down from his orgasm.

He seemed totally into me, and wants to hookup again. I’m up for it just ’cause he’s hot and I want to see if I can get my cum in that hot ass of his before he realizes I’m cumming and pulls off my dick. It feels like it’s a game - he’s playing me by seeing how much he can give me without actually getting my cum in his ass (and not actually telling me to not cum in him), and I’m playing him seeing if I can cum quickly and quietly before he realizes it…

Load 2008-53

I sorta felt like fucking someone today - been in a weird mood sexually the past few days. That research study I’m in asks about sexual desire in three different ways - 1) sexual interest, 2) sexual arousal, and 3) horniness. I never really thought about it in those terms, but they’re a good way to break it down. I mean there are times when I want to fuck someone (sexual interest), but I’m not all that horny and can’t necessarily get it up. Then there are times when I see things on line that get me hard, but don’t feel like going through the bother of hooking up…

Anyway, getting back to the story, today was one of those days when I had sexual interest, but intermittent sexual arousal and horiness. But I was still determined to fuck someone… There were a few possibilities on Adam4Adam and BarebackRT. One was too far away (Brooklyn), another was a bit flaky but I probably could have set something up, but there was this one black guy who had an incredible body who I really wanted to fuck, but he delayed things ’cause he was hooking up with two other guys who were going to give him loads. I figured a cummy hole and a great body were worth waiting for…

At one pointed he asked if I “partied” and I said ‘no’, but didn’t care if he did. I probably should have been more complete in my answer. I don’t really care if a bottom has been partying (provided they aren’t messy and distracted), but I don’t like it when they do it around me. It’s one thing if they do a quick snort of something, but completely different when it’s a whole complicated process.

So the guy shows up, he’s just as hot as his pics (which are incredibly hot). Muscular with zero body fat and a really thin waist. He gets naked and I start playing with his hole, but he wants to party a little first… OK, whatever - I figured he’d do something quick and we’d be on our way. But no, he pulls out a thing that looked like a little bong, the drugs, a lighter, and a little mini torch. It was all way too much. I put up with it just ’cause, I wanted to fuck and didn’t want to completely ruin the moment. I figured it would be over quickly, but it took forever…

When that was done we finally got down to business. He sucked my dick and then I fucked him on his back with his legs in the air. I could tell he wanted me in really deep. I had taken a pill and was really hard, so no problems there. But after fucking him for a while I couldn’t hold back and came in his ass. It didn’t seem like it had been that long so I didn’t let on that I had cum. I just rolled him over and kept fucking him and pounded him pretty hard.

The nice thing was there was a few times when I felt like I was really close to cumming a second time. In hindsight I probably should have faked an orgasm so he knew he got my load, but I didn’t… But he was definitely getting a good fuck.

Then he wanted to take a breather, but it turned out he wanted to smoke some more… UGH!!! At this point I started losing it. Despite having taken a pill, I wasn’t getting more than a chubby. When he was done I sucked on his nipples, and then we went into the shower and I pissed on him. But it completely lacked any chemistry and wasn’t all that hot at all.

He rinsed off and came back and I just wasn’t getting hard. I rimmed him a little, then had him suck my dick. That got me just hard enough to fuck him again which I did, and then he had me piss in his ass which was sorta hot (been a long time since I’d done that).

While he was cleaning up I got dressed. When he came out he saw me and said “Are you done” and I nodded. I was absolutely not going through another round of him smoking.

If he hadn’t been so hot it would have been a bad hookup, but he was hot (and a nice guy too) which meant it wasn’t all that bad, though I wouldn’t do it again (at least not that way).

The best part is his profile - “HIV negative” / “Safe Sex Only”. Yet he spent all night last night PNPing with two guys, and apparently had two more give hm loads before he came to me. He needs to learn to be uninhibited without the drugs…

Load 2008-36

There’s a guy who was visiting NYC a month or two ago who I really wanted to fuck, but things didn’t work out. Well, he’s here at IML and we just hooked up…

Again, not a leather hookup (oh well), but he’s so totally my type I didn’t care. He’s a 22 y.o., short, black guy who’s got a really lean, slightly muscular body, and a phenomenal ass.

He arrives and he’s shorter and cuter than I was expecting. He was wearing a hoodie, flip flops and the bottoms from hospital scrubs. He started stripping down just inside the door - no shirt, no underwear… I was loving it…

We kiss a bit and then he climbs on the bed and presents his ass to me. It was a truly incredible ass, and a really nice hole. I get down on my knees and rim him, which he seems to really love - it kept him moaning…

After rimming him for a while I got some spit on the head of my dick, stand up and fuck him. His hole felt great - nice and reasonably tight boi hole… He takes the dick really well and after a bit of warm up I fucking him fairly hard. Then I push him forward and fuck him on his belly.

Fucking little lean guys on their bellies almost always gets me to cum, and this time was no exception. It felt really good to give him my load…

I roll him on his side and keep my dick in him. Pumping him a little here and there while we enjoy the moment and talk about stuff… He’s not into leather - just came with a friend ’cause he’d never been before…

After a while of laying there cuddling he got up to look at the view. While he was standing naked in front of the window I started rimming his ass again… Didn’t taste any cum cause I must have cum pretty deep. He asked how the cum tasted and I told him I didn’t taste any. Then when I was taking a brief break he basically farted some of my cum out of his ass and it landed on the carpet. It was sorta funny, but I could also tell it wasn’t all that “clean” (not shitty, but just not clean), so I cleaned it up with a towel and didn’t pursue it further.

All in all a really good fuck. Didn’t capture it on camera ’cause I just wanted to enjoy his body. If he wants to fuck again I’ll see if he wants to videotape it…

Load 2008-20

Back in 2001 when my bf and I had been together for a little over 3 years, I wasn’t getting enough sex and I was fucking guys on the side (bareback of course). It was during this time that I fucked “Max” who went on to be the NY-based porn producer for Treasure Island, which is how 3 years later I wound up fucking Dawson in Dawson’s 20 Load weekend… But I digress…

My memory’s a little fuzzy, but if I remember correctly my bf found out I was fucking guys behind his back, there was a big argument, and the outcome was that we’d do 3-ways with bottoms. We thought this would be a great idea. We found a few guys and had a few good hookups (one of the guys we even later saw on Law & Order). But the problem was guys were usually either into one or the other of us, and we always used condoms, which I hated.

But we did find a few bottoms and the very first guy we did a 3-way with was this little, well-built, poz black guy. My bf was fine with him being poz because we were going to fuck him with rubbers… I remember a few things about him - like how his hole felt - it was like a wonderful muscular tube. The other thing was that he went shopping with us afterwards to Triple 5 Soul… (That was the first and last time we went shopping with someone after fucking them)…

Anyway, a few years later I see him online and we chat, he figures out I bareback, and he mentions that he wished he had taken my load. And then later he figured out I was the person behind this blog… For a number of reasons we never hooked up again - until last night…

I see him online yesterday on BarebackRT and tell him I want to fuck him. He had the day off, so he comes over after I was done with work. He looks great - hasn’t changed much in 7 years. He apologizes for having gained 10 lbs, but as I find later, the 10 lbs works well on him… Of course, I gained a lot more than 10 lbs over that time, but he’s fine with it…

He had said he was OK with pics or video provided people couldn’t figure out who he was, but the problem was I couldn’t find the tripod and my bf wasn’t around. I didn’t want the distraction of having to hold the video camera while I fucked, so video was out. After taking off the necessary clothes, I grab the camera and take pictures of his ass. The pictures aren’t as hot as the real thing… What you can’t see is how he’s like the perfect little beefy, muscular bottom. Nice ass, great chest and arms…

So then I put down the camera and eat out his ass, then I have him blow me, then eat out his ass some more, then he blows me again, etc… I then lube up his hole and my dick, pick up the camera again and go to fuck him. But the camera doesn’t take a picture when I press the button. I look and it turns out the memory is full on the camera. So sorry guys - ass shots are all you’re getting…

He’s a bit sensitive when I start fucking him, so I take it slow… His hole feels really good… He’s on his stomach, which is my favorite position with little guys. It would have been so easy to just blow my load after a few strokes, but I wanted it to last a while, so I fuck him with slow and deliberate strokes. Finally, I just can’t hold back any more and I unload in his ass. That’s what he came for - it’s the load he’s been wanting for years…

I keep my dick in his ass (I had taken a couple pills so I was able to stay fairly hard after cumming). I continue to slowly fuck him as we cuddle and talk a bit. His ass is all cummy and feels absolutely incredible… He tells me that was the first load he’d gotten in his ass in about two years. He has a boyfriend, doesn’t live in Manhattan where it’s easier to get laid, and since he’s versatile most guys seem to want him to top.

I remembered he was a sweet guy, but had forgotten what his personality was like. He’s sorta straight-laced in many ways - until he starts talking about sex. While he doesn’t get enough of it, he loves fucking raw - breeding and getting bred. And he’s really in love with Treasure Island videos…

I think I fucked him longer after I came than I did before. It was just nice and relaxed. Then I pulled out, he cleaned off my dick for me, and we cuddled and talked some more. Among other things we talked about him being poz… He’s been poz for something like 20 years - looks great, and has had very few health problems. (He previously he’d told me he’s been “undetectable” for years). He also mentioned he had jacked off 5 times that day thinking about taking my load. That was too bad ’cause I remember him having a really nice dick - but he wasn’t getting hard ’cause he had jacked off so much…

Then I wanted to fuck him more, so I went back and pounded his ass. This time I didn’t have to worry about cumming, so I was a bit more forceful than the first time. But at the same time, since I had cum earlier, I wasn’t completely hard. Eventually I went a bit too soft to fuck and we cuddled some more with my dick in his ass.

It felt really good to cuddle with him - his body was beefy and muscular - his chest and arms felt really good.

All in all it was a great hookup. I need to get him back here and videotape it (can’t believe I couldn’t find the damn tripod - but once he was here I wanted it to be about him, not about the video equipment…)

Yesterday I had the idea of possibly going to IML this year - never been before and sounds like a blast. My mind was racing all night about the possibilities - seeing a lot of pluses and a few negatives…

Anyway, that made me think about a lot of things including the fact that I really need to get back to the gym. Not that cubs and bears aren’t a big part of the leather community, but just that I’d really be happier with a different body composition (maybe more like a muscle bear or something)… Plus, when I mentioned it to my bf he said I should lose weight and fit into my old leather from 10 years ago - but that would mean I’d need to drop 55-60 lbs - not sure that’s going to happen before Memorial Day…

Either way - I didn’t sleep well - just got a few hours of sleep but when I got up I was in the mood to go to the gym (hadn’t been in over a year - or is it two years - can’t remember). Thinking about it I realized there’s like 5 different guys I could hookup with between my place and the gym. So I texted one of them - a black guy I’d been corresponding with on bnskin and manhunt. I didn’t hear back from him until I was already at the gym so I told him I’d go after I finished up there.

So after working out, I’m functioning on like 3 hours of sleep, no food, and just had an exhausting workout. I grab a Tropicana orange juice at a bodega so I’d have some energy, and head over to his place a few blocks away. His place is surprisingly nice - he did an incredible job turning a so-so apartment into a really warm, well-designed place. But more than that, he seemed like a really sweet guy - and his ass - OMG - it was fucking hot… He had this little waist and a perky little butt that made me definitely want to fuck him.

We go into the bedroom and he’s got a frame up for a sling. He pulls out the sling and some sheets and towels to put under it. Once he’s got it up we take off our clothes. I’m dripping wet with sweat (like literally dripping wet). I was hoping he’d take the hint and want to smell my pits and get off on how sweaty I was, but he didn’t…

When he took off his underwear his balls were huge. I asked if he did saline injection or something (I knew he hooked up with someone last night), but he said ‘no’. I touched them and they were hard and lumpy. Something was seriously going on down there and I was really wishing he’d offer an explanation, but he didn’t. Everything else about him was so good, so I kept going…

He gave me a little blow job and then climbed into the sling. It had been a long time since I’d fucked someone in sling (I own one, but never put it up - yeah, I know, I know…) I’m mostly hard and shove in and start fucking. The sling was a link or two too high for me and I had to get on my tip toes to get things lined up just right, but the bigger problem was that I just wasn’t “feeling it” (if you read the blog enough, you know what I mean)…

After a while I feel myself getting soft so I just pull out. I wanted to try another position (him bent over the bed), but my dick just wasn’t cooperating. Not sure if it was ’cause I was tired, or the chemistry was off, or the fact that I kept thinking about his balls, but one way or the other it just wasn’t happening. I had him give me a blow job, but nothing came of it.

So finally I wrapped things up and left…

Things may not have worked out with that guy, but maybe fucking guys on my way to or from the gym is a way to stay motivated and get to the gym. But probably should fuck on the way there - so I have some energy to fuck…

+

Load 2007-20

There’s been this bottom sorta chasing me online. One time we made plans and he never showed up, so my bf and I had things to do and went out and then I get a message from him asking why I didn’t answer the door when get got there…

Anyway, he was really eager to hookup with me, but at the same time he was a total high-maintenance bottom. He’d get all mad if I didn’t get back to him right away or if I had to cancel plans to hookup…

So yesterday I was aching to hookup and breed some ass. I hadn’t cum while I was away for Thanksgiving and then when I got back my attempts to hookup weren’t all that successful. A week had passed and I hadn’t cum. At that point I knew I had a huge load built up and I was determined to get it someone’s ass…

So after some hysterics on his part, the guy agrees to come over. I give him the address and ask him to confirm that he’s definitely coming over. There are a few more messages from him, but he never actually confirms. I send him a message asking for him to confirm, see he’s online, but never hear from him…

I wasn’t going to have him prevent me from busting my load. I mean I had to cum so badly that for like a day and a half I felt like I had to piss all the time - I didn’t need to piss - I needed to cum (don’t know how priests do it).

So I start looking for another cumhole - guys that loved to get fucked and take loads - not anything tender or romatic - just a cumhole. But the weird part is a few were online, but none of them were responding to their messages. Then just as I get a message from one of them, the doorbell rings.

This was actually a really awkward moment. Our (straight) neighbor from down the hall was over having a drink and a cigarette with my boyfriend. I hate the smell of smoke, so I make them go into the second bedroom, put a powerful fan in the window and stand next to the fan, but still here he was and I had a trick arriving…

My bf came out of the bedroom and asked if the bell was a trick and I say it was (he knew I was trying to hookup). He said it was OK that the neighbor knew we had an open relationship ’cause he had told him he had thrown a guy out while I was away at a conference for being fat and having a small dick. Apparently the neighbor (who we think is sorta gay, but in a relationship with a woman) was really titillated by the whole idea of me having sex in the next room and wanted to watch (but that’s another story - and thank god it didn’t happen)…

This story is getting pretty long and it hasn’t even started yet… Oh well…

So the guy shows up and I hurry him into the master bedroom before the neighbor sees him. He’s a bit femmy, but not a complete girl (in other words, fuckable). We start stripping, he sucks my dick, but it doesn’t get hard - just chubby… He asks me if I’m really neg and I say ‘yeah’. He then asks how I stay neg and I say it helps being a top and I don’t hookup all that much…

I turn him around and start eating his ass (which he really likes). It didn’t smell clean enough down there for me to really go to town on it, but it was clean enough… The weird part was how soft his ass was. Nice shape, but totally soft.

We then get in bed, he gets on his back and throws his legs in the air. It’s not my favorite way to fuck, but he had already started jacking his dick - again, not something I really like bottoms to do, but I just needed a hole and didn’t want complications. So I lube up my dick and start to fuck him. He has a hard time taking my dick, so we pause, he takes a hit of poppers, and I try again. This time he’s OK.

He keeps wanting me to talk dirty to him… I try, but mostly just want to fuck him, cum and be done with it. His hole did feel pretty good… Then I say something about wanting to cum in his ass and he says to hold on ’cause he wants to cum at the same time I do. I slow down a little and the next time I say I want to cum in his ass a moment later he cums. UGH! I didn’t say I was coming in his ass, just that I wanted to cum in his ass… I try to keep fucking him, but he can’t take it…

At this point I’m seriously pissed. I start thinking about who else I can hookup with who’d be an easy fuck and regret having sent a quick message to the cumhole who’s message I got right when the guy got to my place…

The guy suggests he eat my load, or that I cum on him. I make it crystal clear that the only way I’ll cum is in his ass. He gets this weird expression on his face and says “Really? Oh wow… It’s so real…” At that point I knew he never intended to get my cum in his ass and his cumming before me was a way to make sure he didn’t get cum in his ass. I feel used and just want him to leave. I even say something like, “well, so that’s it, eh?” He asks if he can come back (!), and then he puts two and two together and realizes that if he doesn’t take my cum now, he’s not going to get to come back.

Anyway, for some reason I didn’t kick him out right then and there and we spend a little time cuddling so he can recuperate and I can finish fucking him. I’m still not sure he’s going to let me cum in him, but whatever… We talk a bit and he tells me that he’s only ever done bareback with a boyfriend and then only after 2 or 3 months of dating. I asked if the guy came in his ass and he said he wasn’t sure - he just never saw the guy cum… (Weird). But he said lately whenever he gets fucked (with a condom) he’s jacking off to what it would be like raw - and what it would be like to take the load…

So after a while we start fucking again. This time I didn’t say much - didn’t want to tell him I was about to cum and give him the opportunity to fuck things up. He keeps telling me to talk to him and I do a little bit, but after a while I just shut up and fuck him.

Finally, I can feel my orgasm coming… Wasn’t quite sure how a 7 day load would go. First it just felt like cum was leaking out of me - that went on and on… I knew at that point he was getting my cum in his ass. And finally the I came in earnest - and that went on for a while too. It felt like I put a gallon of cum in his ass! The guy who didn’t want cum in his ass got a shit load of cum - planted deep too…

I knew he wanted to cum again, so I tried to keep fucking him, but eventually pulled out. He then started farting - but it was a really wet sloppy sorta fart. It was sorta cool and to me showed just how much cum I’d gotten up there. He was a bit embarrassed and then reached down and realized he was farting cum out of his ass…

While I sorta wanted things to be over at that point, he still wanted to cum, so we tried to get him off. I played for a while with his cummy ass, but after a while it was clear he wasn’t going to be able to cum.

I half expected him to go into the bathroom and shit the cum out, but he didn’t. He took a leak, got dressed and left. He left with a completely juicy ass and probably had a huge wet spot in the seat of his pants when he finally got to the end of his subway ride and stood up…

But more importantly - he’s now a cumhole. He’s gone from fantasizing about it to taking a load from a complete stranger - and a big load at that… I’m glad I could be the one to get him over the hump and started down the slippery slope…

So I’m thinking of not jacking off for the rest of the year - so none of my cum goes to waste - have it all get deposited properly in some guy’s ass… If nothing else it will keep me properly focused on sex. If I had done that at the beginning of the year I probably would have made my initial goal of 100 loads up guys’s asses this year. As it stands, if I’m lucky I’ll do 1/4 of that…