Load 2010-24

Last week I was chatting up this Asian guy on BBRT. He was out of town but said he was planning on coming to NYC the next weekend. All of a sudden he said…

So I just confirmed my trip to NYC this Friday-Sunday. When can we meet? … It was your PA that made the decision point.

From the sound of it he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA. In one way it’s nice, in another it sorta obligated me to hookup with him. (If you’re reading this and thinking of doing something similar – don’t do it – chances are I will not be able to hookup with you).

His pics were just so-so and I wondered what I had just gotten myself into. On the other hand, he wanted to get fucked with a PA and it had been a while since I did that and there were things about him that looked interesting… He was Asian and I like Asian guys. He seemed like he was in reasonably good shape, but not great shape, but good enough. And the part that was most curious was that his profile didn’t just say he was neg, but in his profile text he listed the date of his last test. But he asked me no questions and his “looking for” status was “no preference”. Combine that with his wanting to get fucked by a PA that would probably tear him up a bit and he seemed like a bit of a hungry pig – that much I knew I was going to like.

We exchanged texts and set up a time. I really did get the sense that he came into town specifically to get fucked by me and my PA – it was sorta weird. Friday evening I had a barbecue at a friend’s place in Jersey, so we arranged to meet Saturday afternoon.

That morning I decided I’d take a hot bath, try to stretch my PA and get my 0 gauge ring in. It didn’t happen – I didn’t get the 0 gauge ring in until the next day. But I thought it would be cool to  fuck with the additional weight of the 0 gauge. In hindsight it was good it didn’t go in. The 0 gauge has been a little painful as my hole stretches to adapt to it. Probably would have been a really bad idea to fuck with it a few hours after going up to the bigger size. As it turned out this was the last fuck with the 2 gauge – seems appropriate to fuck with it the last day it was in – sorta like a going away party for the ring – lol.

Now my next issue was that my PA is sorta distracting. I don’t fuck with it (very often) ’cause when it’s in I don’t perform as well. So knowing he wanted to get fucked with the PA was a bit of a complication. I decided to do both my herbal stuff as well as a little Viagra. So first thing in the morning I took some of the herbal stuff and then a couple hours before I was supposed to meet him I took about a 1/3rd of a Viagra (maybe a little less). I just hoped it would work well enough…

You’d think if he was coming into town specifically to get fucked by me he’d pick a hotel that was easy for me to get to. Instead he picked one down near Wall Street. And then on top of it there was track work and I wound up having to go all the way to Brooklyn double back to get to him. It took a bit over an hour for me to get there. I did feel the Viagra kick in when we got to 59th Street, but by the time I was finally approaching his hotel I was thinking “I hope he’s worth it…” Oh yeah – and the temperature was in the 90’s with high humidity…

Then I get into the elevator at his hotel and realize you need a key card to get up to the guest floors. I texted him to come down. When he got there I was shocked – he was totally cute – unlike his pics, he was quite thin – so thin I’d call him skinny. And his face was so much more adorable than his pics – he looked like a bit of a nerd in his pics. He real life had this hot faux hawk and was 110% my type… Not perfect, but I don’t expect perfection – but he was damn close to it. Needless to say I was glad I bothered to hookup with him.

We get to his hotel room and strip down. He was totally into me (which I always find odd coming from guys who have great bodies), and as I’ve said I was totally into him. I had forgotten that he told me he liked to party. So it turned into a 3way with Tina/Chrissy… But oddly, he did it 3 times while I was there and the interaction with him was completely normal – like he wasn’t doing anything at all. Again, I lucked out… There wasn’t even the weird odor I’ve smelled when guys smoked up before sex – I wonder what it was that he was doing – maybe it wasn’t Tina… Anyway, a minor distraction, but not a problem.

We made out and I felt up his body for a little while. Then he sucked my cock for a few minutes. Then he got on all fours on the bed and I started eating him out. He had told me he took a load earlier in the day, but it was in there pretty deep (or he had cleaned out) ’cause I didn’t taste anything. He had a great ass and I finally got totally hard.

I stood up and started pushing my PA and cock into his ass. It’s always a little tricky getting such a big ring up some guy’s ass without hurting him or me in the process, but I did finally get it up there. I fucked him doggy style for a while, but every time I’d hit bottom in his ass it was a little painful for me as the ring would double back. So I pushed him onto his belly thinking maybe I wouldn’t get as deep in his ass that way.

With him on his belly there was still a little pain but not so much, but what I really noticed was hot small he was underneath me. He felt good… really good… There was something about his body where his hole was just in the perfect place for me. As you might guess, it wasn’t long before I was blowing my load in his hole. Between the Viagra and the herbal stuff I stayed hard after cumming and kept fucking his cummy hole (more slowly) for a while.

Finally I pulled out and he cleaned off my dick (it’s sorta surprising how many guys are into ATM these days – it seems everyone wants to clean off my dick after it comes out of their ass)… And given that my big PA digs up shit even in “clean” bottoms it said a lot about his ability to clean out that he could suck the dick right after it fucked him. Then I got behind him and started eating out his cummy hole. It tasted great… It’s sorta weird tasting my cum when I’m rimming a guy. I had fucked him enough after cumming that he had a fair amount of cum outside his ass – I didn’t have to work too hard to get my fill of cum.

We then laid around for a bit and chatted, cuddled, sucked each other’s cocks, etc. After 20 minutes or so I got hard enough for round two, but I wasn’t totally hard. In the past I’d noticed that my ring would hold my semi-hard cock in a guy’s ass, so I pushed the ring in and fucked him. I wasn’t totally hard and it was sorta an odd fuck. Seemed it was pretty intense for him – probably because my ring wasn’t as deep in his ass and when I’d pull out a bit the ring would stretch his sphincter. For me it wasn’t the greatest of fucks, but he seemed to like it because the PA was causing some pretty intense sensations.

I wasn’t going to cum, so eventually I just pulled out and we went back to cuddling, talking, sucking cock, etc. At this point I asked him what was up with him since he put the date of his last HIV test in his profile but then had “no preference” in for “looking for” status. He misinterpreted what I said and before I got “no preference” out he said “‘don’t care’ – did I forget to change that?” In other words before his test his HIV status was apparently listed as “don’t care”. Anyway, his answer was pretty simple – he had gotten into barebacking, loved it, never wanted to use condoms again and knew he’d eventually become poz. That still didn’t answer my question as to whether putting his HIV test date in his profile was there to attract neg tops or attract gift giving poz breeders. Either way, I didn’t get the sense he was bug chasing so much as just aware it would happen sooner or later and enjoying life in the process.

I seem to get a fair number of guys assuming I’m poz. I wonder if his coming to NYC paying for transportation and hotel mostly just to get fucked by one top wasn’t because he was thinking that being fucked with a big PA would be a memorable way to get pozzed. Thing was, even when we were discussing his status he didn’t ask questions about mine… He clearly just didn’t want to know. There are times when I wish I could be a mind reader…

When we went to fuck the third time I took my ring out. It was a big enough distraction I knew I’d do better without it. I rimmed him little before I started, but by this time his ass was pretty musky from all the fucking and cum, so it really wasn’t that big of a turn on. But when I went to fuck him it was a good fuck. Once again we started with him on all fours. He was jacking his dick, which usually I don’t like, but it wasn’t interfering with anything. Then he stopped and I asked if he had cum – he had. He didn’t ask me to stop, so I pushed him onto his belly and kept fucking him. There was something about his hole that felt incredible. It was cummy and I was going in at just the right angle, and of course like before I could feel how small he was under me. I almost came a second time. In all my preparations for that day I had forgotten my cock ring. Had I remembered it my dick might have been a little thicker and a little more sensitive and I just might have cum the second time. For me it was probably my favorite fuck of the day – even though I didn’t cum.

Afterwards we cuddled and he actually fell asleep in my arms for a few minutes. Eventually I had to go. It had been a busy 2 hours and I needed to get home.

All in all an excellent fuck…

Load 2010-7

I’m not doing too well with giving loads this year… It’s the middle April and I’ve only given 7 loads and the last one was 25 days ago… Oh well…

There were actually two hookups since my last post. One of them was with a 6′5″ XXL chub – not sure what in the hell I was thinking but the “neg, safe sex only, versatile top” part of his profile turned me on…

Last night I was looking initially, but didn’t find anything other that stuff downtown and I didn’t want to travel. This morning I got online and wasn’t expecting to find anything, but this guy hit me up on BBRT and was up for coming over. We set a time but he was late getting here, but he did finally arrive – with all these shopping bags. It was 10am in the morning – so it’s not like he’d just come from shopping. When we got to the bedroom he explained that he’d been up all night “partying”… He didn’t seem too messy, but he was a bit messy – sorta a bit hyper.

He kept asking for permission for everything which was a bit cute. He even asked permission to suck my cock, which of course I let him do… When I started feeling his butt it felt either cummy or lubed, couldn’t tell which. I asked him if he had any loads in there and he said “yeah, as many as I can get, until I can’t get fucked anymore.” OK, so he was so tweaked he didn’t understand the question… I gave up and got him on the bed had him suck me a little more and then turned him over and fucked him.

He was so tweaked there was no real connection with him – he was just a hole. He actually had a really nice body – it looked especially good when he was face down on my bed. Wet lube had sent me this huge variety pack of lubes, shaving creams, etc. and so I was trying out some of the old style oil-based lube (I like the fact that it’s not condom compatible)… I was fucking him pretty hard but my dick wasn’t quite getting the stimulation it needed… Not hitting the right places or something. I finally sorta just wore out and stopped for a bit (kept my dick in though)…

After a couple minute breather I dumped a bunch of lube on his ass crack above his hole and went back to fucking him. As I was fucking him I thought that t-shirt you see some guys wearing “Fuck me like you hate me”. I really felt zero emotional connection to the bottom – he was just some messy, tweaked out poz guy who seemed like his life was sorta out of control. Sure he had a nice body, but that just made him a decent piece of meat. Good thing I’m not the type of top who likes to have intimate, romantic sex… This time around I got myself at an angle so my dick had more stimulation and that did the trick – a few minutes later I blew what felt like a huge load in his ass.

I stayed in his ass for a couple minutes as I caught my breath. Usually I cuddle bottoms, but didn’t really feel like it with him so much. I did it a little, but it was sorta half-hearted. Then I pulled my dick out and even with my glasses off I could see that it was literally covered in shit. I hate that. The good part was it happened after I came and somehow none of it got on the sheets or on the towel I had down under his ass.

We went to the bathroom and cleaned up (he asked for permission to take a shower), then we chatted a little as he was leaving… All in all an OK fuck, but if I had pulled my dick out any sooner it wouldn’t have gone so well…

Woke up Saturday morning a bit boned, wanted to fuck, but I wasn’t sure whether I was going to be able to cum. I was just one of those feelings… Anyway, the fact that the poz guy I fucked the other night had fucked Christian (from Treasure Island), and just a couple weeks before Johnny Miles from Horndawgz had fucked him, I was feeling a little left out. There was a point in time when Christian had shown some brief interest in hooking up with me, but ever after that he sorta ignored me. I figured IML was my chance to get in his hole. I saw him online and asked if he was looking and he said sure, but he wanted a blindfolded pump-and-dump (as if that would be a problem for me).

Bottom line I showered and was at his room about 15 minutes later. I gotta say, he’s totally my type – short, thin, skinny waist, hot ass… He sucked me a bit, but my dick wasn’t really in the mood for a blowjob, so I had him get on the bed on all fours and I rimmed his ass. His ass tasted a little funny, and before I even asked he said he had put a booty bump up there and I might taste it. I usually don’t like fucking guys who are PNPing, but he didn’t seem all that high. But I didn’t eat out his ass as vigorously as I usually do ’cause I didn’t really want anything in my system. Nice hole though…

When I went to fuck him he asked me to take out the curved barbell I had in my dick ’cause he was filming later that day and needed to be in good form. He mentioned he liked PAs, had one himself, but just couldn’t take jewelry up his ass right then. First I fucked him on all fours and then on his belly. I gotta say it was one of the most wonderful holes I’ve ever fucked… Imagine a thick silky muscular ring – that’s his sphincter. Maybe he had just lubed really well, I don’t know, but it felt like putting your dick in a silky bag that was tight at the top and then just a big chamber.

Thing was, I’ve come to the conclusion that what gets me to cum is when the underside of the head of my dick is rubbing against something when I fuck. It’s why fucking a guy on his belly is usually what gets me off. Thing was the only point of pressure in Christian’s hole is the first part of the sphincter. It may feel incredible, but for me at least it wasn’t rubbing the right bits of my dick. I know some of you will say I’m a lame top, but it’s just how my body is built. On top of all that I hadn’t eaten a meal in 24 hours – just Ensure and some small granola bars, so my energy level wasn’t where it should have been.

Bottom line, I didn’t cum with him (like I didn’t cum with Jarod Steel at last year’s IML), but it was still a good fuck.

Just saw a story on The Sword that there’s a club drug mix out there now called MTV that combines Meth, Tenofivir (and anti-retroviral) and Viagra that neg barebackers are taking when they spend the night partying and barebacking… Meth to get high, Viagra to stay hard, and Tenofivir as a form of “PrEP”.

In case you don’t know anything about PrEP it’s an offshoot of PEP. PEP is the course of HIV meds that you take after being exposed to HIV. Used sparingly PEP is a good thing (though it’s a bit of a joke if you’re a bottom who regularly takes anonymous loads). PrEP takes that a step further an instead of being post-exposure it’s pre-exposure… If you’re the type of person who takes a lot of risk, you theoretically take HIV meds just like poz guys do so you won’t get HIV.

Let me put this bluntly – while you can make whatever choice you want, personally I think PrEP is a crock of shit and I’d never take it – even if I was a bottom. While the ARVs are far better today than they were 10 years ago, they still can have some serious side effects. It’s possible that the PrEP you take today could have worse long-term impacts than becoming HIV positive.

IMHO, the fewer meds I take the better. In the past I always said if I became poz I wouldn’t take meds until I clearly needed them. Now I’m not sure what I’d do. I might take a mild ARV, but I’d first want to get a sense for what HIV was doing in my body. If I could stay off meds I would – for example if it was clear that the strain I had was particularly mild.

One of my big issues is that doctors are putting people on ARVs immediately after diagnosis. They say it’s because it’s best for the patient, but I really think it’s because the meds stop them the person from spreading HIV. It’s clearly best for the community, but I don’t quite believe them that it’s best for the individual patient. [And yes, this is where my selfish American side comes out. A European would likely have no problem taking meds because it's in the best interest of the community.]

The other problem with PrEP is that you can build up a resistence to ARVs and when you do become poz your treatment options are less. That’s not a good thing at all.

In the case of guys who take MTV or other forms of unsupervised, recreational PrEP they’re in an even worse position – their intermittent use of ARVs will most definitely create drug resistance problems for them long-term. And the combination of PNP and barebacking means they’ll probably wind up poz at which point the drug resistance will be a problem.

Bottom line – if you PNP leave ARVs out of the mix. In the long run you’re better off not taking ARVs until you need them. If you really want to be on PrEP – see a doctor and do exactly what s/he tells you to do (and be honest with them about your recreational drug use)…

I want my MTV too – the old one that played music videos all day long…

Load 2009-4

There’s a guy I saw a few months ago – hot little tattooed guy. I remember him telling me back then he did gogo dancing. He’s not the pretty boy type – more of a tough little guy… Anyway he resurfaced the last couple weeks and he was the one who I didn’t hookup with on Monday ’cause I wasn’t sure whether it would go well given my mellow mood…

Tonight I wasn’t really looking – just sorta bored and looking at BarebackRT for the hell of it. He said ‘hi’ and I knew he was nearby so I figured what the hell – asked my bf if it was OK, and then went over.

I got there and he was really short which was sorta cool. My boyfriend is short, but this guy was noticeably shorter. He just had a t-shirt and underwear on so I could tell he was really thin too… This promised to be fun…

We went in the the bedroom, took off our clothes (I left on my tshirt). He got on his knees and started sucking my cock. He was so adorable… So tiny, so cute…

That went on for a while, though not too long given how long a serious cocksucker would make it last. It was a decent blowjob (no teeth, but wasn’t really doing anything special for me – which is pretty typical of me and blojobs). When I was cleaning up before I went over I noticed my dick was pretty chubby – it was like there was still a little bit of the partial pill that I took a couple days before that was still active. I wasn’t super hard or anything – just thick and spongey.

I wanted to rim his ass, which I think surprised him a bit. He seemed to like it – nice hole – his ass was a bit fuzzy which was cool. Eventually I had it really wet with spit, stood up, but some spit on my dick and shoved in. I love how little guys respond. Since they’re smaller it’s a bit more intense when they get fucked. It took a few strokes for him to get used to my cock, and then we were off…

Fucking him reminded me of fucking one of my old boyfriends (the one who got me addicted barebacking and blowing load up guys’ asses). With my old boyfriend I could literally get in deep enough to hit his second sphincter. I couldn’t quite do that with this guy, but it felt like it was close.

At first I didn’t know if I could cum all that quickly, but it wasn’t long before I felt my orgasm coming – gave him a decent load, though not a huge one.

We then laid next to each other and I played with his nipples while he jacked off (it was a dry orgasm). The whole encounter was sorta passionless – it was just a fuck. I think he liked me, but I wonder if the lack of emotion wasn’t due to whatever he was smoking.

The funny part was he told me I was a lot more attractive than my pics. Guess I need one of my tricks to take some decent pics of me on of these days…

+

Load 2008-53

I sorta felt like fucking someone today – been in a weird mood sexually the past few days. That research study I’m in asks about sexual desire in three different ways – 1) sexual interest, 2) sexual arousal, and 3) horniness. I never really thought about it in those terms, but they’re a good way to break it down. I mean there are times when I want to fuck someone (sexual interest), but I’m not all that horny and can’t necessarily get it up. Then there are times when I see things on line that get me hard, but don’t feel like going through the bother of hooking up…

Anyway, getting back to the story, today was one of those days when I had sexual interest, but intermittent sexual arousal and horiness. But I was still determined to fuck someone… There were a few possibilities on Adam4Adam and BarebackRT. One was too far away (Brooklyn), another was a bit flaky but I probably could have set something up, but there was this one black guy who had an incredible body who I really wanted to fuck, but he delayed things ’cause he was hooking up with two other guys who were going to give him loads. I figured a cummy hole and a great body were worth waiting for…

At one pointed he asked if I “partied” and I said ‘no’, but didn’t care if he did. I probably should have been more complete in my answer. I don’t really care if a bottom has been partying (provided they aren’t messy and distracted), but I don’t like it when they do it around me. It’s one thing if they do a quick snort of something, but completely different when it’s a whole complicated process.

So the guy shows up, he’s just as hot as his pics (which are incredibly hot). Muscular with zero body fat and a really thin waist. He gets naked and I start playing with his hole, but he wants to party a little first… OK, whatever – I figured he’d do something quick and we’d be on our way. But no, he pulls out a thing that looked like a little bong, the drugs, a lighter, and a little mini torch. It was all way too much. I put up with it just ’cause, I wanted to fuck and didn’t want to completely ruin the moment. I figured it would be over quickly, but it took forever…

When that was done we finally got down to business. He sucked my dick and then I fucked him on his back with his legs in the air. I could tell he wanted me in really deep. I had taken a pill and was really hard, so no problems there. But after fucking him for a while I couldn’t hold back and came in his ass. It didn’t seem like it had been that long so I didn’t let on that I had cum. I just rolled him over and kept fucking him and pounded him pretty hard.

The nice thing was there was a few times when I felt like I was really close to cumming a second time. In hindsight I probably should have faked an orgasm so he knew he got my load, but I didn’t… But he was definitely getting a good fuck.

Then he wanted to take a breather, but it turned out he wanted to smoke some more… UGH!!! At this point I started losing it. Despite having taken a pill, I wasn’t getting more than a chubby. When he was done I sucked on his nipples, and then we went into the shower and I pissed on him. But it completely lacked any chemistry and wasn’t all that hot at all.

He rinsed off and came back and I just wasn’t getting hard. I rimmed him a little, then had him suck my dick. That got me just hard enough to fuck him again which I did, and then he had me piss in his ass which was sorta hot (been a long time since I’d done that).

While he was cleaning up I got dressed. When he came out he saw me and said “Are you done” and I nodded. I was absolutely not going through another round of him smoking.

If he hadn’t been so hot it would have been a bad hookup, but he was hot (and a nice guy too) which meant it wasn’t all that bad, though I wouldn’t do it again (at least not that way).

The best part is his profile – “HIV negative” / “Safe Sex Only”. Yet he spent all night last night PNPing with two guys, and apparently had two more give hm loads before he came to me. He needs to learn to be uninhibited without the drugs…